Sunday, October 19, 2008

Peanut Butter is the New Cocaine

I was going to review those fabulous Lake Champlain Truffles tonight. But my dealer, Mr. Reese, called, and when Mr. Reese calls, I listen.

I love peanut butter even more than I love pumpkin. But the peanut gets a bum rap. The botanical name for chocolate is Theobroma Cacao which means Food of the Gods. What is the botanical name for the peanut? Arachis Hypogea. Eew - that sounds like a spider. Peanut butter needs an agent.

I have yet to find anyone who does peanut butter and chocolate better than Reese's. I've been shopping this year's Halloween candy as you know. I've been eyeing the giant bags designed for Trick or Treaters, but most have some good candy mixed with some crappy candy. When I saw this one, however, I had to have it. Mr. Reese knows I'm powerless to resist him. And all of these are delish - the classic cup and Reese's Pieces need no explanation. The Fast Break is good because of the sheer quantity of peanut butter - imitators have less PB. And I'd rather have a ReeseStick than a KitKat any day. It's the peanut butter that makes the delicious difference.

I know - how common! I'm choosing the mass market candy over gourmet options. I have tried other peanut butter offerings (at much higher price points) but they usually get the mix wrong. Too heavy on the chocolate, too light on the PB. Or the peanut butter is somehow wrong - too bland.

Can peanut butter be motivational? I say yes! Here are some motivational peanut butter thoughts:

1.) Sometimes going back to the basics is best. Think of these two food items - a good old peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a bacon chocolate bar. 'Nuff said. What's our mantra? Just because you can do it doesn't mean you should. And just because something has been around for a long time doesn't mean it's bad. When it comes to candy, it's usually the opposite. Except for the Circus Peanut.

2.) The invention of peanut butter is inspirational as are all great achievements. Agricultural chemist, George Washington Carver discovered three hundred uses for peanuts and hundreds more uses for soybeans, pecans and sweet potatoes. I like all those things - George Washington Carver was da man! And this was the epitaph on his grave: "He could have added fortune to fame, but caring for neither, he found happiness and honor in being helpful to the world." Tell me that's not motivational!

3.) Peanut butter is fun! PB&J sandwiches, peanut butter cookies, Nutter Butters, the whole Reese's family, and even Mr. Peanut and the Peanut M & M - yahoo!! I'd say the peanut itself is irresistible - what could be more fun than sitting in the stands watching baseball and shelling and eating peanuts? I think the peanut should be our national legume, if we have one. Not that we really need a national legume, but the peanut should be the national something. Again, I say, the peanut needs an agent.

I am powerless over peanut butter. (Isn't that the first of the 12 steps?) In this economy, it makes much more sense to be addicted to peanut butter than cocaine.


Carl Weaver said...

Good point about peanut butter addiction. I used to work at a homeless shelter, where almost everyone was an addict of something. Never heard peanut butter mentioned the whole time I was there.

I have to take issue with you maligning the circus peanut. Sure, there are no peanuts and for all I can tell, they might as well be mined from the ground like coal or gummy bears, but they are pure heavenly deliciousness.

My only problem with them is that they contain gelatin, the downfall of all good vegetarians. Alas.

Heidi said...

Oh m'gosh, and speaking of peanut butter ... have you tried peanut satay chicken -- good grief that stuff is awesome. In our house we also enjoy anything peanutty that is also Thai related.
Oh. And you can't forget Peanut Soup, which I plan on making for Thanksgiving. That's a Mount Vernon thing.
You are right -- it is cocaine, albeit a much less expensive and legal version.