Let’s face it – life can be hard. No matter who you are, no matter what your circumstances – bad things can happen to you. Your heart can get broken, a business deal can fall through, or your investments can go up in smoke. (Not that THAT has happened to any of us recently.) You need a boost – a way to hit your own personal reset button and get back in the game. Because that’s the secret really – you can’t give up. You have to have the hope that things will be better – that tomorrow is another chance to find love, put together a great business deal, or earn even higher returns.
I don’t think anyone can do this resetting for you – I think you have to do it for yourself. You have to find some techniques that work for you. Lately I’ve been using some techniques I borrowed from the love of my life, chocolate.
1.) Try new things (this can be read new books, listen to new music, hang out with new people, wear new clothing styles – you get the picture). Chocolate has been trying new things since it was discovered by the Aztecs. It started as a hot drink; it evolved into a myriad of candy bars, and now is an ingredient in everything from salad dressing to breakfast cereal. Chocolate is definitely a player in the game of life – always pushing the limits – even combining itself with bacon! If chocolate leads such an adventurous life, so can you.
Human nature is such that we get set in our ways, we hate change. This leads to boredom and depression. Mix it up!
2.) Have fun! Chocolate is definitely not uptight. The minute chocolate shows up – everybody smiles. Chocolate can be serious – when you start talking about dark chocolate and the benefits for your heart –that’s serious. But chocolate immediately reverts to fun. I have in my possession at this moment a grinning dark chocolate Easter Bunny. This bunny can save your life (in tiny doses) AND make you laugh. The key is that chocolate doesn’t take itself too seriously.
We get blue when we start taking ourselves and the things that happen to us WAY too seriously. We think if we make one mistake, our lives are over. We are so hard on ourselves! The truth is, if you gain 10 pounds, most people don’t even notice. But you can sure beat yourself up about it. In the grand scheme of your life – will people remember how skinny you were or how much joy you brought them? Remember how you thought you’d never recover from the loss of your first love? In 20 years, you’ll feel the same way about the loss of your invested money. Over time, very few things really matter. Have more fun – THAT is what you’ll remember and that is how we very often measure the true quality of our lives.
3.) Live unconditionally. Chocolate gives its all to you. It expects nothing in return. From the fragile cacao tree all the way through harvest and roasting and transport and preparation – chocolate goes through heck just to offer itself to you. And it doesn’t care if it winds up as a truffle in a fancy restaurant or a Tootsie Roll in a Halloween bag. It is still chocolate and still received with love and affection by all.
We don’t do this – we hold back. We worry about what other people might think of us. We don’t go to the beach until we lose weight. We don’t say what we really think because someone might not like us. As we age we get worse, we say “No” more to opportunities than we say “Yes.” Our world shrinks. Assume you are chocolate and wherever you go, in whatever form you take, people will like you and accept you. Be comfortable being you. Next time you find yourself putting conditions on your life (I’ll do it when I’m thinner; when I have a date, when the kids are older – remember – you may never have this chance again.) Chocolate ALWAYS shows up.
4.) Be flexible, but stay true to your nature. Chocolate can be a lot of different things. It can be molded into almost any shape imaginable. It can be paired with many other foods and mixed with many other ingredients. But we all know the taste of chocolate.
We humans can’t control much – not other people, not the weather, not the stock market. Very few things are under our direct control. To have any degree of happiness, we have to be flexible, to be willing to compromise, to share. We have to accept change. But, you must be true to yourself. If you sacrifice your core values, you will never be happy. If you hide your true nature and try to be something you are not, you will never be happy. Be like chocolate – be yourself. It won’t work in all situations, but when it does, the world will cheer.
I’m not saying these are easy – I think the reverse is true. But if you can force yourself to do them, I guarantee the results will far exceed the effort. And the more you do them, the easier they become. You can take bitter (the cacao bean) and make it sweet (chocolate). In the candy shop of life, you are your own chocolatier. Will you create a masterpiece? Or give up after the first bad batch?
Showing posts with label how to get motivated. Show all posts
Showing posts with label how to get motivated. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Friday, December 26, 2008
Got Motivation?
Most of the articles I see that discuss motivation talk about sports. But us average Joes and Jills are not playing sports. We just have to get out of bed everyday, go to work, and try to live. We don’t have a coach working with us and a bunch of fans cheering us on. There are no big endorsement contracts, no uniforms, and seldom the thrill of victory. How do we find motivation?
It seems to me that most people want to find the motivation to do something (or to stop doing something). Let me give you some examples:
Lose weight or eat healthier
Stop smoking
Get rid of clutter or be more organized
Get out of debt
Exercise
Make better use of their time
I don’t think what is needed is necessarily motivation. I think what is needed is true desire, discipline, and information.
What do I mean? True desire – you have to really, truly want it. It starts here. It’s not going to be easy, but don’t lie to yourself. If deep down you really would rather have that new pair of shoes than pay off that credit card – I can’t help you. You’ve got to get this straight in your own head. You have to decide what you really want and go for it. When athletes take the field they want to win. Period. You have to have that level of clarity and desire.
You don’t hear much about discipline anymore and that’s a damn shame. Because discipline is what you’re going to need. The discipline to get out of bed when you don’t feel like it and go to the gym. The discipline to not buy those shoes and put that money in the bank. The discipline to go to night school when your friends are out partying. Every successful person in the history of the world could practice discipline. Discipline is doing what might suck in the short term to get you where you want to go in the long term. No discipline equals no success. There is no easy way out.
Information is vital. Too many people fail because they don’t know what they need to do to succeed. They don’t realize they will NEVER get out of debt paying the minimum balance on their credit cards. They don’t know that salad dressing, cheese and bacon they just dumped on their salad destroyed their diet. You don’t need more motivation – you need more information.
Here’s your “motivation:”
1.) Commit or let it go. You have got to be able to say “I will do whatever it takes to do ______________.” And you have to mean this. If there is any doubt in your mind, come back when you’re ready. Don’t waste your time until then.
2.) Get smart. You obviously aren’t that smart about this particular topic. Hey – there’s no shame in that!! If you could see my library, you’d know there’s a whole lotta stuff I’m not too smart about! But you need to quit thinking you have all the answers. Get a basic book on managing your finances or on weight lost or organization. Whatever it is you think you need “motivation” for. Anything that promises you a quick fix is a lie and a bad source. You are not going to become rich, skinny or organized overnight. You need to get smart, not suckered.
3.) Set up systems. Automatic payroll deduction, making your lunch the night before, immediately sorting the mail over the trash can, deleting all email by the end of the day – you have got to make this a no brainer. Your systems will start to form habits and the new behaviors will become easier.
4.) DISCIPLINE!!!!!!!!!!!!! These systems are going to be hard at first, they may be hard for a long time. Even the life long athlete has days when they don’t want to workout. That’s where discipline comes in. You have to work your system even when you don’t want to. Now – I don’t mean that if you have an injury, you keep working out. I mean if it’s cold outside and you just don’t feel like it, you man up and go. There’s a difference between taking care of yourself and being undisciplined, and we all know it. This is the difference between those who get what they want out of life and those who don’t. And the only person who can do this for you is you.
Don’t get discouraged – what I find is that the more you practice discipline – the easier it gets. You become stronger. Your self-esteem rises. You realize that you CAN get out there and do anything – you just have to push yourself.
5.) Keep on top of it. Life happens – sometimes things will occur that will throw you off track. You may have a health issue or you may have to go out of town for work and things may pile up on your desk. This has nothing to do with your discipline. The clutter comes back, the exercise regime can’t be completed, you regain some weight. That will happen, it’s okay. As soon as you can, get those systems going again. The longer you wait, the harder it will be. Do what you can as soon as you can.
6.) Fight the P Sisters – procrastination and perfectionism. Don’t put it off till tomorrow. Better to do a little today than nothing. It DOES NOT have to be perfect. A short workout is better than no workout. A small binge is better than a huge binge. Get back on track as soon as you can.
You might read this and think – but I just want motivation to get out of bed and go to work or to be a better parent. You know what I’m going to say? Look at those steps in that context – are you really committed to loving your job? If not, don’t look for me to motivate you into it! If you are, are there things you could learn to make you better at it? To help you advance? If you don’t know, learn the answer!
Set up systems – if you love your co-workers, make sure you have a fun lunch planned with one each day. The discipline is that you have to fight to keep your fire about anything – you have to keep learning, keep growing, keep reminding yourself of what you like, etc. etc.
Do you see? These steps really do apply to anything you want to be “motivated” about. So there it is – stop waiting for that magic “motivation” and get on it!
It seems to me that most people want to find the motivation to do something (or to stop doing something). Let me give you some examples:
Lose weight or eat healthier
Stop smoking
Get rid of clutter or be more organized
Get out of debt
Exercise
Make better use of their time
I don’t think what is needed is necessarily motivation. I think what is needed is true desire, discipline, and information.
What do I mean? True desire – you have to really, truly want it. It starts here. It’s not going to be easy, but don’t lie to yourself. If deep down you really would rather have that new pair of shoes than pay off that credit card – I can’t help you. You’ve got to get this straight in your own head. You have to decide what you really want and go for it. When athletes take the field they want to win. Period. You have to have that level of clarity and desire.
You don’t hear much about discipline anymore and that’s a damn shame. Because discipline is what you’re going to need. The discipline to get out of bed when you don’t feel like it and go to the gym. The discipline to not buy those shoes and put that money in the bank. The discipline to go to night school when your friends are out partying. Every successful person in the history of the world could practice discipline. Discipline is doing what might suck in the short term to get you where you want to go in the long term. No discipline equals no success. There is no easy way out.
Information is vital. Too many people fail because they don’t know what they need to do to succeed. They don’t realize they will NEVER get out of debt paying the minimum balance on their credit cards. They don’t know that salad dressing, cheese and bacon they just dumped on their salad destroyed their diet. You don’t need more motivation – you need more information.
Here’s your “motivation:”
1.) Commit or let it go. You have got to be able to say “I will do whatever it takes to do ______________.” And you have to mean this. If there is any doubt in your mind, come back when you’re ready. Don’t waste your time until then.
2.) Get smart. You obviously aren’t that smart about this particular topic. Hey – there’s no shame in that!! If you could see my library, you’d know there’s a whole lotta stuff I’m not too smart about! But you need to quit thinking you have all the answers. Get a basic book on managing your finances or on weight lost or organization. Whatever it is you think you need “motivation” for. Anything that promises you a quick fix is a lie and a bad source. You are not going to become rich, skinny or organized overnight. You need to get smart, not suckered.
3.) Set up systems. Automatic payroll deduction, making your lunch the night before, immediately sorting the mail over the trash can, deleting all email by the end of the day – you have got to make this a no brainer. Your systems will start to form habits and the new behaviors will become easier.
4.) DISCIPLINE!!!!!!!!!!!!! These systems are going to be hard at first, they may be hard for a long time. Even the life long athlete has days when they don’t want to workout. That’s where discipline comes in. You have to work your system even when you don’t want to. Now – I don’t mean that if you have an injury, you keep working out. I mean if it’s cold outside and you just don’t feel like it, you man up and go. There’s a difference between taking care of yourself and being undisciplined, and we all know it. This is the difference between those who get what they want out of life and those who don’t. And the only person who can do this for you is you.
Don’t get discouraged – what I find is that the more you practice discipline – the easier it gets. You become stronger. Your self-esteem rises. You realize that you CAN get out there and do anything – you just have to push yourself.
5.) Keep on top of it. Life happens – sometimes things will occur that will throw you off track. You may have a health issue or you may have to go out of town for work and things may pile up on your desk. This has nothing to do with your discipline. The clutter comes back, the exercise regime can’t be completed, you regain some weight. That will happen, it’s okay. As soon as you can, get those systems going again. The longer you wait, the harder it will be. Do what you can as soon as you can.
6.) Fight the P Sisters – procrastination and perfectionism. Don’t put it off till tomorrow. Better to do a little today than nothing. It DOES NOT have to be perfect. A short workout is better than no workout. A small binge is better than a huge binge. Get back on track as soon as you can.
You might read this and think – but I just want motivation to get out of bed and go to work or to be a better parent. You know what I’m going to say? Look at those steps in that context – are you really committed to loving your job? If not, don’t look for me to motivate you into it! If you are, are there things you could learn to make you better at it? To help you advance? If you don’t know, learn the answer!
Set up systems – if you love your co-workers, make sure you have a fun lunch planned with one each day. The discipline is that you have to fight to keep your fire about anything – you have to keep learning, keep growing, keep reminding yourself of what you like, etc. etc.
Do you see? These steps really do apply to anything you want to be “motivated” about. So there it is – stop waiting for that magic “motivation” and get on it!
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