Peanut Butter and Jelly

Those of you who have been reading this for any length of time know that I have issues - dating issues, chocolate issues, and perfectionist issues.  When I review something - say peanut brittle - I want to review ALL the peanut brittle.  The only way I know how to tell you what's best is by comparing them.  I can't just try a random peanut brittle and remember all the others.  I don't how gourmets do it.

Of course, the problem with this perfectionism is that I can never get my hands on ALL the peanut brittles.

But I can't stop myself.  Today I went in Rite Aid to check out the Halloween Candy.  I have to tell you, I am underwhelmed this year.  Not much new and exciting.  But we'll get to that.

I saw this - Chocolate Covered Peanut Brittle by our friends at Old Dominion and had to buy it:

Box looks nice!  But look at this blob:

That's how it is - all in a blob.  You gotta work at it to pull it apart.  It's not bad - chocolate covered peanut brittle - I mean, can you really go wrong?  But it's not as good as Feridies.  Feridies is much thicker, not in a blob and has more peanuts.

And, of course, Planters has a peanut bar (there's my love, Mr. Peanut):

In color it falls between the Old Dominion bar and the overcooked Carolina bar.  I gotta say, it's surprisingly good.  Very peanutty.  But a bit smaller and with more calories that the others.  No wonder I like it - probably has more sugar.  God help me.

I promised you peanut butter!  But I can't review all the peanut butters - I will literally explode.  I adore peanut butter and if I have multiple jars in the house, I'll eat them all.  So I'll just review some fringe peanut butters.

Imagine my amazement when I saw this at Harry and David - Creamy Caramel Peanut Spread!

Looks pretty good, right?  I like caramel.  I love peanut butter.  I like candies that have both.  This, however, I do not like.  I prefer plain peanut butter.

Just so you know, I've tried A LOT of these flavored peanut butters.  And for the most part, I don't think they improve on plain peanut butter.  That's my standard.  If it's not better than plain peanut butter - it should not be made.  The caramel flavor here just makes the peanut butter taste weird.  Boo!

But there's another - Creamy Raspberry Peanut Spread!

BLEECH!!!  Funky weird raspberry taste - what the hell were they thinking?  Just get some raspberry jam!  UGH!  I think this line is going to disappear from the Harry and David shelves.

These samples I got at the Fancy Food Show. This is Peanut Butter and Co's Smooth Operator - their natural regular ol' peanut butter:

It's good - very peanutty. 

But their White Chocolate Wonderful - oh dear God - it's TO DIE FOR.  I don't have a picture of it here because I will eat the entire jar.  It is the best peanut butter in the entire Universe.  They have it at Super Target and more grocery stores now.  I think you should go out and get some as soon as possible if you like peanut butter.  Your life will never be the same.

From the Fancy Food Show - Justin's (also all-natural) honey peanut butter blend:

Is also okay.  There's nothing wrong with these, but Peter Pan is so damn good why go to the trouble of finding new peanut butter unless it's extraordinary?

Justin's also makes maple almond butter:

This was much blander than I thought it should be.  I like almonds, I like maple.  But this?  Eh.

Harry and David also has a chocolate hazelnut spread.  They are totally trying to move in on Nutella.  Their jar is even shaped like the Nutella jar (shame, Harry and David, shame):

This is a little single serving of Nutella I got at Candy Expo:

This is the Harry and David spread which looks just like Nutella (same color, a little less thick).  But.....

Nutella is better.  The difference is slight - but Nutella tastes a little sweeter and more chocolately.  The Harry and David mix has a stronger hazelnut flavor.  But both are damn good. 

Not as good as White Chocolate Wonderful peanut butter - not even close.

This is somewhere between a butter and a jelly.  It's Harry and David's Pumpkin Pecan Fruit Butter:

Okay - I know that looks gross, but this stuff is soooooo good!  It's spicy (ginger) and pumpkiny and the chunks of pecan are delish!  I've been eating it right out of the jar!  Who needs pumpkin or pecan pie?  This is awesome!!!!!!!

Now for the jelly (well, actually jam)!!  My friend Ruth Taylor (who went to the Fancy Food Show with me), makes the most amazing jams.  I mean, she wins blue ribbons at the NC State Fair!

This is her raspberry peach:

Doesn't it look great?  And it is - the sweetness of the peach works perfectly with the tartness of the raspberries.  YUM!!!! And so fresh and fruity tasting - wow!!!

And this (my favorite) is cherry pecan:

Wow!!  Tart cherries (see the chucks?) and pecans - so very, very good!  It's packed with fruit and nuts and really is a treat in and of itself.  Put it on some Walker's Shortbread - woowee!  Now THAT would be amazing!

It's fall!  Time to get out there and try some new flavors, hit some festivals, celebrate the harvest and the season and most importantly - life!

The Virginia Peanut Festival

This Saturday, the Patron Saint of Single Women, my buddy Larry, and I went to the Virginia Peanut Festival in the metropolis of Emporia, Virginia.  Why do I give Larry Patron Saint status?  After my last dating disaster Larry took me to lunch and reminded me that there was nothing wrong with me.  And as if that wasn't enough, when I suggested we go to the random Peanut Festival, Larry didn't hesitate.  Even when the temperature was pushing 100. See?  Patron Saint.

In fact, I've found that the Peanut Festival is a great screener for dating.  This weekend two match.com guys called me.  When they asked what I had done this weekend, I told them both in an excited voice, "I went to the Virginia Peanut Festival!"  One immediately went on to tell a long and boring story about some relatives he had who used to live in Emporia.  He then proceeded to give me a lecture on vitamin intake.  Told me that you pee most of the vitamins in supplements out.  (As if I don't know this and who the hell cares?  Did he think I was fascinated?  That I was hoping he'd ask me out so I could hear more about urination?)  I could have put the phone down and come back 10 minutes later.  He wouldn't have missed me.  I lied and said I had to go.  When he asked if he could call back I said I was really, really busy.  Forever.

When I told the second man, "I went to the Virginia Peanut Festival!"  He said, "Why?"  Clearly he is not the man for me.  He's a computer guy.  Another one.  Raleigh is infested with them.

The man for me would either - laugh; say he was jealous; or ask what I had to eat at the festival.  If he asked if I saw Mr. Peanut I would propose.

Let's get back to the festival.

Now I've been to the Blueberry Festival in Burgaw, NC where there was blueberry ice cream, blueberry muffins, blueberry bread, and lots and lots of blueberries.  Silly me, I expected the same thing at the Peanut Festival.  Instead it was just.......well, scary.

The opening parade was rolling by when we got there.  There were a lot of Jesus floats - churches with signs about sin and abortion and murder and greed.  I expected to catch on fire at any second.  One group was handing out brochures that asked THE QUESTION.

I had no idea what THE QUESTION was.  But Larry knew.  THE QUESTION is "When I die, will I go to Heaven or TO HELL?"  I'm pretty sure I'm going to Hell with all my other rowdy friends, so I don't worry too much about this.  I really just wanted some peanuts.  I'll get redemption some other time.  Maybe

There was a car show (by the church):

At least this person involved the peanut:

There was a 1949 peanut picker and that brown mound of vegetation in front of the picker is peanut plants:

These were in front of the courthouse:

The was also a weird flea market/vendor area, a Civil War camp reenactment,  (How boring to reenact camping), and a cheesy carnival like you see in the parking lot of Walmart.  What was missing?  PEANUTS!!!!  No peanut foods.  Funnel cakes and all that crap.  Domino's pizza.  I was sweating like I already was in Hell and there were no peanuts in sight.  Bastards. 

I say THE QUESTION is "Where the hell are the peanuts?"

I did get a bag of Planter's Peanuts throw off of one of the floats.  And the Virginia Peanut Growers Association had a booth where I got some peanuts.  Wow - I could barely carry this huge peanut haul!  Good thing I dragged Larry all the way to Emporia, Virginia!  Which I have to tell you, might be the armpit of the state.  YIKES!

Now, this is WHY I went to the Virginia Peanut Festival.  I sampled some Virginia Peanuts at the Fancy Food show and they rock!  They are way bigger than Planters and taste so much better.  The difference really is surprising.  I had no idea what I'd been missing:

Planters on the left, Virginia's Finest on the right.  It's really hard to describe the nuances of peanut flavor, but the Virgina peanuts are so much better.  Less oily, more peanutty.  If you like peanuts, I think you'll love these.  I won't waste my time with Planter's anymore.  Sorry Mr. Peanut, Virginia's Finest are WAY better.

Other than the Virginia Peanut Grower's Association (who seemed less than excited when I said we had come all the way from Raleigh and I loved Virginia peanuts!), there was one lone peanut booth.  I mean there were rubber ducky races and a whole bunch of other crap - two stages with bands, a freakin' car show and the Civil War weirdness, but no peanut booths at the PEANUT festival.  Go figure.

This was The Good Earth Peanut Company:

I bought some of their peanuts and tried to get them excited too.  Told them about the blog!  I'm not sure they have Internet access in Emporia.  Or maybe they just didn't know what a blog was.  Or maybe they were all just stunned by the heat.  Or maybe they could tell I was the spawn of Satan from the Big City who didn't know what THE QUESTION really was.

Well, I turned to Larry after scarfing down a really good pumpkin cupcake from a vendor.  (Home made and AMAZING!  But not peanut!!)  And said, "I have a back-up plan.  Are you willing to drive another 30 miles?"  The Patron Saint of Single Women was in.  I'm kind of hard to resist when pumpkin muffin crumbs are sticking to my sweat.

Feridies Peanut Patch https://www.feridies.com/  is what got me started on Virginia peanuts.  I had a speaking engagement in Suffolk, Virgina and on the way back, I saw it and just pulled in.  (I live on the edge like that.) It's everything the peanut festival should have been.  And it's just east of Hell - I mean Emporia. 

Look at this great peanut box!

They have some great peanut flavors - I love the regular salted - I also got Hickory Smoked, chocolate covered peanut brittle and peanut brittle crunch.  But they have loads of stuff - trail mix, other nuts, more peanut flavors (like Scorned Woman and Jamaician Jerk) and you can sample them all!  They even have peanut candy!  See those cuties?

The peanut patch even had peanut shaped erasers and a peanut Christmas ornament!  Woohoo!!  Peanut Heaven!

I thought I'd show you the Good Earth peanuts (on the left) and the Feridies peanuts (on the right):

The Good Earth peanuts are better than Planters, but not as good as Feridies.  Feridies just have a cleaner taste.  A bit less greasy, a bit less salty.  And their overall peanut quality is better - larger and more well formed peanuts.  Look, I've never thought about all this before, but someone had to have a Peanut Festival!
They even had peanut butter pound cake!

I'm glad I found it and tried it, but I was disappointed.  Bland.  A little dry.  Needs more peanut butter!!

I love peanut brittle and this was a time when adding chocolate really worked:

Completely addictive and totally delicious!  This is clearly the work of Satan!!  And I am SO in!!!

Lessons?

Not all peanuts are created equal.  Did you know?  I sure didn't. I've grown up with Planters - they are everywhere.  But they are actually lame.  Just because something is readily available doesn't mean it's the best.  The best takes a little more work to find. 

It's not about the destination - it's about the journey.  Larry and I had a great time - we melted, but we laughed a LOT.  And he was a great sport.  We had an adventure - you have to make those happen.  It's too easy to beg off and just run errands or laze around the house.  Emerson said we're always getting ready to live and never living. 

Now you know what THE QUESTION is.  But I still don't agree.  I don't think THE QUESTION is "What will happen to you after you die?"  I think THE QUESTION is "Will you really LIVE?"

Tomorrow wer're going to talk about peanut brittle without chocolate!  Hey, we're on a roll here!!