The Christmas Orange

Did you ever get fruit in your stocking as a kid? I think my Mom (oops, I mean Santa) tried it once and we bitched and moaned so much she never did it again. Who the hell wants FRUIT in their stocking on Christmas? Might as well put coal in there. I want Reese's. Lots of Reese's. And don't take up space by putting batteries in there.

But if you are bound and determined to put an orange in there, there has been a good alternative (I reviewed it last year) - Terry's Chocolate Orange. I was stunned last year to see that you had to beat the thing to get it to "open" into slices, but I'm a veteran now. I didn't try something stupid like hitting it with a stapler. I just slammed these mothers right into a table. More holiday violence! What is wrong with me?

So what's new this year? Well, Terry's has a new variety and everybody and their brother is trying to get in on the action.

Terry's has toffee crunch:

The interior instruction wrapper:

Whack? I tried whacking it last year, I'm telling you, you have to slam them into a table. Here's what Terry's looks like before the slam:

And after:

As you'll see Terry's breaks apart the best. It also looks the best before you break it. Terry's (now owned by Kraft) has the process down.

When I first opened the box I was hit with the citrus smell of orange. I have to tell you, I was thinking this just might be toffee. Not orange toffee. And while I like it better than the non-toffee orange, it's still too orangy for me. But better than a real orange, mind you. Chocolate and toffee are involved.

Ferrara Pan (maker of the Atomic Fireball) has jumped into the chocolate game and they too have a toffee crunch orange:

Burst then enjoy? What the hell does "burst" mean? I like "whack and unwrap" better but I guess you can only steal so much. How about "Beat then Eat?" Or "Slam then Cram?"

Not as pretty as Terry's:

And much more carnage after the bursting. It's hard to really tell from the pics, but Terry's comes apart much better. This one was just toffee, no orange flavor. But the chocolate was waxy and the toffee in Terry's was better. I am totally unimpressed and while I hate the orange flavor, I choose Terry's over this.

Ferrara also has a Dark Orange:

Another "bursting" disaster. I still can't get some of these slices apart. But the dark chocolate/orange combo works better than the milk chocolate/orange combo. I often find that with fruit flavors, dark chocolate is a better pairing. The fruit is already sweet enough, it doesn't need milk chocolate. But this isn't the best dark chocolate in the world. However, it's better than the milk chocolate offering by Terry's only becuase of the better flavor combo.

And another contender - Florida Tropic! (I reviewed their Key Lime a month or so ago.) Their orange just says 70% cacao dark chocolate:

Well, maybe this works? Although if you've never had some of these do you know the hand is slamming? Or does it just look like it's just squeezing?

The lamest of all the "breaks" - they have no skill in the molding of this "orange." It is dark chocolate and no orange flavor. It's okay - it's not doing a whole lot for me. In fact, why bother? It's not fun to slam. It has no orange taste, no toffee, and you can get a lot better dark chocolate elsewhere. But if you insist on having a damn orange, so ahead. Wait! I think I'd rather have batteries.

Christmas Chocolate

How did Christmas get so close?? I have much candy to review and it's almost here! I love holiday candy, hell, I love ALL candy, but around the holidays new and different stuff comes out. Yay!

Let's start with one of my favorites - Hershey's Kisses. They have these two Christmas flavors:

Hot Cocoa looks just like a regular Kiss, maybe a little lighter in color, but it is VERY creamy. It does claim to be filled with hot cocoa creme. Good, but addictive. Do NOT sit a bowl of these on your desk - you might eat them all! But don't let these get away - try them!

Oh yeah, baby!! These look festive - and there are little red candy canes on the foil wrappers. They are great! Sweet, and I love the little peppermint chunks in them. These are a stocking must and would be VERY festive on baked goods or in desserts. Go Hershey!

Hershey also some some back wrapped Kisses in a pouch labeled Naughty and silver ones in a pouch labeled Nice. Brilliant marketing!!!!

Sugar Babies has an entry, and even though they are not chocolate I wanted to check them out:


Now it's been a long, long time since I've eaten a Sugar Baby, but I remember them fondly. These, however, are not good. They are really hard - like really stale Sugar Babies. Maybe the coloring didn't work so well? What a bummer - I was really looking forward to these. Also the green on the package looks great! The green on the candy is a pastel green. Not festive. Festive for Easter maybe, but not Christmas. Oh well, maybe they'll be better next year. Go with the regular ones for the stocking!

I've seen these around the holidays for years and always wanted to try one. I couldn't really get what it was:

I mean are these chocolate covered orange slices? Is there a real orange in there? What IS it?When you open the box, this is what you see:

I whacked it with a stapler, but it didn't really do much:

So I whacked it again and pulled the pieces apart:

They do come apart just like orange slices. If you like orange and chocolate, this is for you! It's milk chocolate and orange oil and it definitely delivers on the orange. It started as a big hit in the UK, now it's sold all over the world and is manufactured by Kraft. Get this - according to Wikipedia, "Its history dates back to the 1920s, when the so-called "Chocolate Apple" was first produced. The orange was launched in the 1930s and was much more popular than the apple, leading to the apple's phasing out in 1954.[1]" I can't image the apple tasting very good, although a REAL apple covered with or dipped in chocolate is fabulous. This is VERY fun for a stocking! Definitely more fun than a regular ol' orange.

Whoppers has a holiday entry - Whoppers Sno-Balls:

These are like regular Whoppers, but they have a candy coating. I liked them. The box is cute, they are addictive. Now, don't get me wrong - Whoppers can not compete with Chocolat Moderne's caramels. But as a fun Christmas candy - they are okay. (I like Reese's Whoppers the best, then the regular ones because they have more chocolate, but I swear I can't stop eating these!) The box is small - grab one!

The last candy is something that looked interactive:

I thought that maybe you were supposed to somehow decorate the star with the "snowballs"? I don't know - it seemed like they were supposed to go together. So I opened the package:

Um...I don't get it. The little "snowballs" really taste terrible. The dark chocolate star isn't bad, but it's not too good either. It's hollow and I'm not a big lover of hollow chocolate shapes. I like solid chocolate. Maybe you're supposed to split the star open and then load the snowballs in and eat that. Or just look at it. Maybe it's a decoration. I don't know, I really don't get it. There's also a Christmas tree. Don't buy these. They are weird. I'm scared of them.

I love the season - from the wonderful to the weird - how fun are all of these? How lucky are we that confectioners are working to develop new ideas and new treats for us? Yahoo!! Make sure you have some fun this season and try one or two new holiday candies. We'll be trying more here!!! On Donner, On Blitzen!