Chocolate Drama

I found these cute little boxes of Mrs. Fields assorted chocolates on sale after Valentine's Day. They are $1.00 normally, I got them for a whopping 50 cents.

They contain chocolate chip cookie dough:

Butter caramel:

and dark coconut macaroon.

And they are all horrible. The caramel was the least horrible, but if you are a cookie maker and you screw up a chocolate chip cookie dough chocolate, you should consider sticking your head in your own oven.

Not one to give up easily, I bought these:

I mean, it says Peanut Butter Dream on the box. Ummmmm......peanut butter......

They too were horrible. They tasted like a butter cream - nothing like peanut butter. Mrs. Fields Chocolates were a terrible, terrible disappointment. And you all know I even give PALMER a chance! These should be avoided at all costs. Even if they are half price. Even if they are FREE!

While much better than the Mrs. Fields:

Jo's Peanut Butter Meltaways didn't rock my world either. I mean, for $11.00 a box, I want something pretty good. Reese's are better. I found the peanut butter smooth but somewhat dry and tasteless. Boo! What is going on? How can anyone ruin peanut butter - food of the Gods? Oh wait, that's chocolate. How can anyone ruin peanut butter - legume of the gods?

Well, since we're talking about ruining things, let's go back to my arch enemy, Russell Stover. RS seems to have a knack for ruining everything.

Now this is a cool looking box, given to me by my Sorbet Sistah, Sexy (aka Beth):

Looks good so far:

Before the autopsy:

Autopsy photo:

It's Russell Stover - we're doing a mass autopsy.


Okay - there is no damn label - a huge pet peeve of mine! I want to know what the flavors are! I want some guidance! Especially if your flavors are weak and unrecognizable! Russell Stover I hate you!!

Bear with me while I try to determine what the hell we have here:

the pink thing - cherry? strawberry? who the hell knows - was terrible. That pink stuff is hard as a rock. Yuck.

the white blob - maybe coconut cream? I'm not sure - it doesn't taste very coconutty, and it's not very creamy or very good. I don't even know what it is. Dark chocolate over some mystery cream. Boring!

directly above the white blob is a tan chocolate - this one was (GASP) actually good! Of course, I can't get it again because I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL IS IT!!! RS you suck!! Some kind of chocolate truffle? A nut might have been involved in a very, very small amount. WTF - even when I try to give RS some kudos they make it impossible.

The one at the top that looks like peanut butter tastes exactly like a chocolate covered Mary Jane. I don't think much of Mary Janes so this did not work for me. I was hoping for peanut butter. I hate RS more.

Next to the white blob is a caramel. This is just like the Mrs. Fields caramels - so boring. So bland you decide it's not even worth the work required to chew it. It is so sad when you screw up caramel. I love caramel. RS is a bastard.

Oh - here's the coconut in our final chocolate. Now I have even less idea what was in the other one - vanilla cream? This one is not horrifying. It's like a second rate Almond Joy - with the milk chocolate (not dark like Mounds) minus the almond.

Overall - RS makes crappy chocolate. But it was a gift, so I thought......maybe I'd give RS another chance.

These were half price:

Now, this is somewhat amazing. The caramel heart is actually good. I don't know how this has happened. This is a softer, richer caramel than the one in the assortment. This one is good. Russell Stover has made a good candy! OMG - how can it be? Ding dong, the witch is dead, the wicked witch of the west is dead - ding dong the wicked witch is dead!!!

This was half price too:

This too is not horrible. Tastes like coconut, thin enough so that the cream is balanced well with the dark chocolate. I liked it. What is going on??? How can this be? Who will I hate now? I guess there's always Mrs. Fields, but that just doesn't feel as righteous.

Will I have to let go of my hatred of Russell Stover?

Will my love of Mrs. Fields cookies offset my hatred of her heinous chocolates?

Should Mrs. Fields consider having an affair with Russell Stover?

And what about Harry & David?

Stay tuned for the next episode of Motivation by Chocolate!

Ch-ch-ch-Cherry!

Valentine's Day candy is half price!! But it's going fast - so if you want any - get out there! And CVS has some crazy deals on Easter candy. I got some Snickers Eggs and some Reese's Pieces Eggs for eight cents! I have no explanation for it, but I was thrilled. I also am clearly insane in my candy consumption but that's another matter.


I've reviewed these before and I'm standing by my earlier review.

They have a cherry taste (obviously there ain't no real cherries in there). If you like cherry, I think you'll like these, but I prefer regular M & Ms. These are not so great. But, hey, I always like it when companies try something new. So, go Mars!

Now look at these - new from Harry and David:

They are called Glimmers and come in assorted flavors. (I have a bag of caramel Glimmers for a future post.) This bag is cherry, blueberry and raspberry and they are shimmery! Look at how pretty they are! For some reason the shimmer here doesn't bother me like it did on the Fling bar. I think it bothered me there because they took it away when they made it a Three Musketeers bar. It was a hokey, girlie thing and it still pisses me off!

But these are all about the shimmer! They are a LOT like the premium M & M's, but yet not. The flavors are completely different.

Pretty, shiny, sparkly! They are chewy rather than crunchy - no hard candy shell. And MUCH more fruity than the M & M's. I have to say, these are really, really good. Holy smokes! They are much better than I thought they would be. Why do I doubt you, Harry & David? Cherry is pink, raspberry is red and blueberry is, well, blue. The fruit taste is stronger than the chocolate taste, and the blend is good. Harry & David does a great job with their chocolates and these are no exception. I'm impressed.

Now let's get to the real fruit!! This Harry and David assortment has chocolate covered cherries, blueberries and peaches.

An autopsied cherry:

See the layers? Cherry, chocolate, and a red coating. I'm not going to pretend to know what the red coating is made of. Overall effect? Tart -which is good - the way a cherry should be. The chocolate and the red mystery layer add a nice sweetness. I like these - a lot. I can tell they are addictive and I'm already convincing myself of the antioxidant content of the cherries.

Here's a peach:

Peach, chocolate, and white coating. The blueberries were too small to autopsy. I can only do so much. These are good too, although a little sweet for my taste. I can still taste the fruit, which is really nice, but it's mighty sweet. I don't know if a dark chocolate would work here though - it might overpower the delicate peach flavor.

The blueberries are also good - nice and tart. But these were kind of puny. I get these at A Southern Season and they are much bigger. Flavor is great in both.

I found this assortment in World Market:

This assortment contains (starting with the pink and moving clockwise) pink strawberries, raisins, orange mangoes, Bing cherries, white apricots, and cranberries. I autopsied a cherry and a strawberry and you can see we've got the same layers as in the Harry & David fruits.

The red mystery layer is much thinner here and the chocolate thicker. These are not as sweet, or quite frankly, as good as the Harry and David ones. These cherries don't even taste that tart. Also there's an an odd aftertaste. You would think the increased chocolate would help, but it's not a great chocolate. BOO!!!

This one is more like the Harry & David chocolate to mystery layer ratio. And it is horrible. Truly horrible. Too sweet with a fake strawberry flavor. Also has a weird aftertaste. Ewww! These are all bad - the mango thing was also all orange stuff - no chocolate center with a tiny bit of mango. Apricot also has a funky aftertaste. The only two that were edible were cranberry and raisin and that was because they were covered only in chocolate. Avoid these like the Swine Flu.

I found these at Trader Joe's:

They look more like the World Market cherries than the Harry & David cherries. These are MUCH better than the evil and heinous World Market ones, but they are still not as good as the H & D ones. Their coating is cherry flavored in that weird maraschino cherry way. And you don't get that tart H & D cherry taste. I'm surprised at how much H & D is standing above the rest.

These are Trader Joe's dark chocolate covered cherries:

No red mystery layers - just cherries and dark chocolate. But taste? These could be giant chocolate covered raisins for all I can tell. There's no cherry taste at all. The chocolate is good, but it's so strong it completely overpowers the cherries. H & D kicks butt in this competition!

Now these don't have anything to do with cherries. But they were what I found in Trader Joe's for Valentine's Day.

Aren't they gorgeous?

Chocolate is so pretty! I love chocolate. And these are delicious - look at that creamy, dark chocolate truffle filling. Wow!!! These are a must for you dark chocolate lovers - that creamy center is to die for! Trader Joe's comes through after all!!

I think the best chocolate covered fruit enhances the fruit flavor. Only in the Harry and David chocolates could I still taste the fruit. The best partnerships are like that, aren't they? One person doesn't completely overshadow the other - both work to bring out the best in each other. Good friends listen to each other. Happy couples divide up work so one doesn't carry the full load. Love isn't about giving everything and losing yourself. It's about finding the person who brings out the best in you.

Or maybe it's just about covering yourself in chocolate.

I'm in Love!!!

Ah, Valentine's Day weekend continues! My buddy Chris and I are going to see The Wolfman tomorrow to celebrate. What better than a little terror and bloodshed to mark the day?


I'm trying a new chocolate company - Malley's Chocolates http://www.malleys.com/. I've been wanting to order from them ever since I discovered they sell chocolate covered grapes. (I kid you not.) Unfortunately the grapes are too fragile to ship - damn it. I want to try those things!! Guess I'm going to have to make a road trip to Ohio to get some.

But for now I'll settle for some of their Valentine's Day treats. Here's their raspberry heart:




This raspberry filling has a weird aftertaste. No good. Although I like the dark chocolate with the raspberry, it can't offset the yuckiness. So far, they are off to a bad start.

I saw these - Hershey's raspberry Bliss in cute heart shapes for the holiday:

These are actually very good - I like the amount of raspberry flavor - not too strong, not too weak. The chocolate is better than Palmer but not as good as Lindt. For the price, this gets a thumbs up from me. I like Hershey's Raspberry Hugs better, but these are more sophisticated (if you care about sophistication). Me? Not so much. I'm not even aiming for Bliss, I'll settle for a good Hug.

I adore caramel, so I hope Malley's caramel heart is better:

The caramel heart is good! Look at that delicious, creamy caramel! It's packed with it - YUM!!!! I give this heart two thumbs up! Go Malley's!!

Now here's a challenge - we talked about peanut butter yesterday. There's a LOT of competition in this category. Can Malley's measure up?

Malley's heart is made out of better chocolate than Palmer's and their peanut butter is good and salty. However, there's too much chocolate and not enough peanut butter. I still give top honors to Reese's. One out of two. Hmmmm....not so great.

But here's the real reason I ordered from Malley's.......CHOCOLATE COVERED TWINKIES!


Nice wrapping paper! Happy Valentine's Day to me!

Look at how pretty the Twinkie is! Love the heart shaped sprinkles! Love the pretty lacy drizzle! I think there really is a cupid, and he just shot an arrow through my heart.

Wow! These are pretty damn good. The chocolate is real chocolate - not that waxy stuff on Little Debbie's (no offense, Deb, you know I love you). You just can't beat all that cream, cake and chocolate. At least not as far as I'm concerned. These rock! I am in love!

In fact, they are good enough to assure that I will keep my eye on Malley's and will order from them again. Their prices are great - each heart was only .50 (and they are a good size - equal to the evil Russel Stover hearts I see for $1.50 or more) and the box of four Twinkies was only $5.95.

And if you go to their web site you can order a cool free chocolate sticker for your car:

Yahoo! We found a new chocolate company and we got a free sticker. Life just doesn't get any better! How can anyone be sad or lonely when someplace people are covering grapes and Twinkies in chocolate? Yay!!!!!