Lips like Peanut Butter

I can't believe Valentine's Day is almost here!! So much candy to blog about, so little time to blog about it! (Of course, I have no Valentine, but that's not surprising you guys.)

Sweethearts are a classic, so apparently everyone must steal their idea. They don't taste worth a damn, so I don't feel very sorry for them. When I saw these, I thought they were a good idea by el cheapo cookie maker Stauffer's. Mostly because I love cookies. And they are red and shaped like hearts. They look pretty cool and festive on the bag:

But look at them in real life! You can't read these! What's the point of the messages if you can't read them? And do they look red to you? Liar,liar, hearts on fire! These are completely lame. They aren't bad in taste as far as cheap cookies go, but I'm so upset at the misrepresentation of their appearance I can't get past it. BOO!!!!

I mean, what happened? A shortage at the sprinkle factory? An engineering mishap? Marketing forgetting to communicate with production? Whatever happened, it just pisses me off. If cupid were here, I'd kick him.

Speaking of cookies, look at these by our friends at el cheapo chocolate maker, Palmer:

I like the festive pink hearts. And while white chocolate isn't my fav, dumping chocolate cookie crumbs in it tastes pretty good. Do I want to eat a lot of these - God, no - way too sweet. But I like that they exist.

Hershey's has Cookies 'n' Creme Kisses:

Look at the size of those cookie chunks compared to the size of the Kiss - pretty big, huh? Makes Palmer's cookie crumbs look a little puny. These are a little less sweet than Palmer's and completely addictive. Do not keep these in a bowl on your desk - you will eat them all. There will be blue foil chips in your keyboard. And in your hair. And in the carpet. They are not specifically a Valentine's Day candy, but I was on a cookie roll.

Palmer's not done yet - not by a long shot! Look at this creative combo:

I love those juicy lips!! The heart are milk chocolate with crisped rice (like A Nestle Crunch). Very sweet, nothing special. I don't think much of the Nestle Crunch, so these don't do anything for me. The roses are billed as rich chocolate fudge. Very sweet and rich cheap chocolate. The center has a creamy mockolate filling. Loads of sugar in all these. And the lips are filled with peanut butter!! (What better to fill lips with? It's a beautiful, beautiful dream.)

While the autopsy photo makes it look like the lips are loaded with peanut butter, they really aren't. Too much cheap chocolate, not enough peanut butter. But it was a great idea!

But there's more peanut butter from Palmer:

I like these better than the lips - they seem to have more peanut butter.

But there's a big dog in the house:

I can't believe I am going to say this. I feel like a traitor in the house of Reese. I actually like the Palmer hearts better! I've eaten way more of both than I wanted to trying to disprove this to myself. But it is what it is.

However, these Reese's Hearts crush the others:

Now THAT is some peanut butter!! If only these were in the shape of lips.......

Okay, let me get a hold of myself.

I hope you all have a great Valentine's Day! And learn from this post:

Don't get sucked in by a fancy exterior. It's what's on the inside that counts.

Kisses can be addictive - be careful out there.

Try to keep an open mind, you might not really have all the answers.

And finally, the more peanut butter, the better.

Cacao Schmow, Give Me Sugar!

I know - I may be the only person alive who thinks this, but Palmer chocolate is a pretty good deal for el cheapo chocolate. At least their Santas don't look like blobs:

And their cookies and cream isn't too bad:

In the whole package there was only one disk wrapped in red - it surprised me! But I like Palmer because they always make an assortment interesting by using different foil designs and colors. And I'm telling you, these cookies and cream things are all right! Look at those cookie chunks! Yum!

They also did a caramel tree:

Again, I like the way it looks - a star on top, a bow and all the ornaments. Pretty good job!




The taste is okay. Would like more caramel. But for the price and the artistry, I still gotta say it's good. I think Palmer just puts in a whole bunch of sugar - it's not the highest quality chocolate in the world, but it's good. I'm okay with lots of sugar - it's all about the taste to me. It's not like I'm eating this stuff to get healthy.



The last Palmer design I found were these wreaths:



Look at all these different foil designs!!

I mean - that's a lot of trouble! Very festive! And you know how I like the use of different colors of chocolate. Go Palmer!

Very sweet - again, this is not creamy, rich, smooth Belgian chocolate. There's a whole lotta sugar going on. But I gotta say, these are better than that horrible Hazelwood stuff.

What can we learn from Palmer?

Not everyone has to be Godiva (which is overrated in my book anyway). Palmer isn't even trying to be high-end. Palmer is going for fun, festive, and cheap. Palmer is being the best it can be in its own niche.

Celebrate who you are! Stop agonizing over who you're not. We can't all be Angelia Jolie. But you know what? She can't be you either. (And you don't EVER have to sleep with Billy Bob Thornton.) Make the most of what you have.

The right people will love you. Palmer has a following, so does the evil Russell Stover. You don't have to please all the people all of the time - in fact, you can't. You really just have to please yourself. And if you're in business, you have to please enough other people to pay the bills.

And finally, enough sugar can offset just about anything.