Chocolate Versions of Ice Cream

Somethings really are better left alone.  I think ice cream is better as ice cream and chocolate shouldn't try to be ice cream.

I got these (by Turin) because peanut butter was included.  I think there should be real peanut butter ice cream.  But I've never seen it, so there must be a reason.  Maybe it's just no good.  It seems like it would be good.....

Well, I can say with certainty the peanut butter here was no good!  UGH!!!!!  Terrible!  The orange one in the lower right corner was supposed to be peanut butter.  HORRIBLE!

The tan one was coffee and that was much better.  Tasted like the coffee ice cream my Dad liked when I was a kid.  Faux ice cream in my book - I mean, really - coffee as an ice cream favor?  Even as an adult I don't like it.  As a kid I was convinced it was some kind of adult conspiracy.

Godiva produced a bunch of ice cream truffles - this one is pecan sundae:

Looks good with gooey caramel, vanilla and carmelized pecans on top.  But wasn't very extraordinary to me.  I think I'm the only person alive that thinks Godiva is totally overrated and completely overpriced. Zzzzzz.........

More Godiva ice cream flavors:

Pistachio:

I like the screaming green color and the layer of chocolate.  It was smooth and creamy, but I found the flavor weak.

This was supposed to be Neapolitan with strawberry and vanilla (notice the pink drizzle?):

No strawberry!  A total rip off - instead I got chocolate and vanilla.  Again smooth and creamy, but not very flavorful.

Ditto for this one which I think was supposed to be Rocky Road:

Zzzz.......

Hazelnut Gelato:

I love hazelnut and even this one was boring.  Totally disappointing.  Godiva is going to be my new Russell Stover.  I hate them both.  Although I might hate Russell less because he's so much cheaper.

Let's check out their $3.00 bars.  Here's Hazelnut Gelato again:

Look at those fancy G's - must stand for Gotcha!  or Gullible or Greedy:

I can see the hazelnut, but I can't taste much of it.  Tastes like a chocolate bar. Lame.

Here's Vanilla Sundae:

Boo!  What vanilla?  A nice dark chocolate (which completely overpowers the vanilla), but sure as hell nothing like a vanilla sundae.

And finally Oranges & Cream in white chocolate:

While heinously sweet, this actually resembles something like ice cream.  Remember those orange push-up things the ice cream man used to have?  My brother liked those.  Orange sherbet or some similar crap?  One step above SORBET?  That's what this tastes like.

When you are turning chocolate into sorbet you have lost all credibility as a chocolatier.  Like orange sherbet needs to be replicated in chocolate.  That's chocolate treason.

The Emperor really does have no clothes.  Maybe Lady Godiva really is a good image for them. 

Lessons?

Ah - they repeat so often!  Just because you CAN do it, doesn't mean you should.

A fancy wrapper and an expensive price don't mean a thing.  You really can't judge a chocolate bar by its wrapper.

Be who you are - ice cream should be ice cream and chocolate should be chocolate.  When you try to be something you 're not - we lose you.  And there's only one.

A Billion Almonds Died for You

I hope everyone had a great Easter! (I really hope you all had some good candy!) I still have some Easter treats to blog about, so just think of them as spring candies.

At Valentine's Day I found these marzipan hearts (if you didn't know, marzipan is made mostly of sugar and almond meal which sounds kind of creepy, but I like almonds and sugar, so...):



I really liked the "white" hearts (these are the color of plain marzipan), didn't like the red hearts. They had some kind of funky flavor that wasn't so good. But the white ones were really good, so at Easter I thought I'd get some more marzipan.

These look pretty festive and they are by the same company - Biermann Marzipan. You can see their website http://www.marzipancandies.com/:

See how brightly colored they can be but still be the marzipan color on the inside?

The verdict? Bleech. Not so good. I don't know if it's the coloring or the lack of chocolate. But these were not so good. Don't waste your time or your calories.

These are by Bissinger's:

Pretty gorgeous, huh?

These were better, but I still don't really like them. I mean, they are okay, but I would soooooo much rather have about 1 million other candies. Hell, I'd rather have just plain ol' almonds.

These were in the L.A. Burdick Kids Box:

Marzipan eggs and a carrot! These were tiny and were very good. But I just have to admit that marzipan is not really my favorite.

I like its texture, it seems to hold shapes and colors well, but eh....

How adorable is this?

Look how beautiful and delicate this is! I bought it at The Chocolate Bear but it's made by Blue Ridge Chocolates:

Those are marzipan eggs:

and they are good! Maybe because the ingredients are just almonds, honey and sugar. And the chocolate was delicious too! Can you see that it's both dark (the base and vertical twigs) and milk? This is a beautiful and delicious creation. Bravo!!!!

Niederegger, a German company, makes some great looking chocolate covered marzipan treats. These eggs come in assorted flavors: pineapple, apple, orange, espresso, caramel croquant, and pistachio.

Here's a milk chocolate and a dark chocolate egg:

This is milk chocolate and apple:

Yucko! I'm just not an apple and chocolate fan. Unless it's a real, fresh apple.

This is dark chocolate and pineapple (pineapple again!):

This one was good!!

As far as the other flavors - dark chocolate and orange was bad, dark chocolate and pistachio was okay, dark chocolate and espresso was yucky, and milk chocolate and caramel croquant was FABULOUS!!!!!! Croquant is French for crisp and there are some nice little crispy bits in this one. If I could get only the caramel ones, I would buy these again. But all the other flavors weren't worth the calories, with the possible exception of pineapple.

These are just adorable:

So, so cute!!!! And coated in chocolate!!

But - eh, not so great. I'm really bummed about the whole marzipan experience.

I hoped this bar by Niederegger would be good, since the chocolate to marzipan ratio is so high:

I can tell the chocolate is good, but the marzipan didn't really add anything. I would have rather had just a chocolate bar. Or a peanut butter bar! Or caramel or nuts or......well, just about anything other than marzipan. Except apple - no apple.

The Milka bar is better:

Of all the marzipan bars, this is by far my favorite. I love the creamy, delicious dark chocolate. YUMMY!!!

I had high hopes for the Ritter Sport dark chocolate with marzipan bar:

It also comes in this baby version:

Disappointing - a funky aftertaste with this marzipan. The Milka bar destroys this one!!

This bar looked really good:

Until I opened it:

Um....cream? I don't think so. Maybe back in the 30s. Another argument for EXPIRATION DATES!!!!

So we have no idea if this might have been a good bar or not. Grrrr.........

This Lindt bar has pistachio with almond cream:

While I LOVE Lindt's creamy delicious chocolate, I found it overwhelmed the pistachio and the almond cream. I could hardly taste their flavors. So while this bar was good, it wasn't extraordinary.

These, however, ARE:

There's amaretto (almond flavored liqueur):

So creamy and flavorful with little bits of nuts - AMAZING!!

And pistacchio:

See the nuts? This was my least fav - but that's because I love almonds more than pistachios. These little eggs are FABULOUS!!

This is mandorla (almond):

Also creamy and nutty and delicious! These are just so, so good!!!

Godiva's assortment of eggs - milk, dark, almond butter and coconut:

Pretty! Shiny!

This is Godiva's almond butter egg. I still don't know why Godiva has to have all that space in the middle of their confections (and you all know how hard I am on them):

But these are actually pretty damn good! I really do love almonds. I'm so sad so many were turned into marzipan. I think we should have a moment of silence.

Godiva also filled this gorgeous egg with their little eggs:





Isn't that a beautiful thing? I love that - I'll keep the pretty egg for next year and eat all the chocolate eggs this year. YAY!!! So you can actually have your egg and eat it too!

Bwah, ha, ha!!!!