Chocolate Christmas Shopping

Tracy and I hit the stores on Saturday (I know - crazy, right?) and everyplace was pretty packed. Recession over? We're all just bored? Last minute panic? Who knows? But I was still looking for candy. (I mean, it ain't over till it's over!) And I found a few missing items I felt compelled to cover.

First there's another Christmas Whopper. This is just the regular old Whopper in a Christmas box. Not bad, not extraordinary - I like the Sno-balls better. And you know how I feel about the attempt to trick us by only changing the packaging. But this is pretty cute packaging and these would make a great stocking stuffer.

Where I really missed the sleigh was with peppermint. I don't really love peppermint and chocolate, but I can't escape it this time of year. First there's a new Bliss (at least new to me) and not specifically Christmas, but what the hell:

These were not my fav. In fact, I'm going to go so far as to say that I don't like these at all. There's some funky aftertaste. Toothpaste? Lighter fluid? Poison?

Tracy spotted these at Target, and they are pretty festive. Look how gorgeous:

There are four in the pack - and the best part? No Martha Stewart!!! Yay!!

They are really thin:

Wow! This is my favorite peppermint bark - love the thinness - making it not too chocolately and not too rich. Love the crunchy peppermint chunks on top and LOVE, LOVE, LOVE how pretty it is! Also like the dark and white chocolate with the peppermint (rather than milk and white like Ghirardelli). And I almost didn't try it! Thanks, Tracy, for spotting it! Thanks, Dove, for making it! And thanks, Martha, for not ruining it with your lame advice.

And now I have some pics of my favorite peppermint/chocolate combo (other than the Dove bark -it's moved to the top spot for me!):

The Lindor truffle is just so amazingly smooth and creamy it's hard to beat. It has the best chocolate, but I really like those festive peppermint chunks on the Dove bark. I like the mix of textures and the Dove bark is just so damn pretty! If you see the Dove bark - get it - it's fantastic!!!

We also spotted these and I had to get them for my tree:

How great are those?? I love them! $1 at Target and they have candy in them. Now, don't get excited about the candy, this is all that in there:

That's pretty weak, huh? How about the TWO Tootsie Rolls? I mean, why even bother? But I really do like the ornaments - look for them in the stocking stuffer section of Target if you like them too.

I thought I'd leave you with some tips Martha might share:

Get to the stores early, they won't be as crowded.

Wear comfortable shoes while shopping so you don't get crabby.

Consider taking endless hours to make gifts by hand. Your time isn't worth nearly as much as mine, so you might as well waste it.

Don't scream obscenities or make rude hand gestures in the parking lot. Some of the women I met in prison have been released.

And finally,

If you are allergic to any foods, don't eat them.

Happy Shopping!!!!

I HAVE DIED & GONE TO HEAVEN!

I stopped in Walgreen's today, just to check out the Halloween candy. They know me there, probably calling me the Crazy Candy Lady behind my back. I don't care - it's worth it. Look at what I found in the regular candy aisle:

Do you see this?? Who would have thought life could get any better??? Reese's has made a peanut butter lovers peanut butter cup!!!!

Look at that! Isn't it beautiful? There's still some chocolate on the base, but this baby is all about peanut butter. And it ROCKS!!!!! It really is for peanut butter lovers - definitely more peanut buttery than regular Reese's. I don't think it is actually better than the regular Reese's - you just can't beat that chocolate/ PB combo, but this is oh so good! The wrapper says it's a limited edition, so you might want to try and find one. (I'm still bitter I missed the peanut butter/banana creme Reese's cup in released in honor of Elvis back in 2007. What the hell was I thinking?)

Then I had to check out the Halloween candy, which you'll be hearing more about. But look at this:

As you all know, I love the Tootsie Roll. I know chocolate snobs are horrified, but I don't care. And this bag is GIGANTIC!!!! Here it is with my Blackberry for scale:

Whoohoo!! It was carrying a baby to the check out counter!! That's my kind of candy bag! Today was a gooood day! Here's what's inside:

Those mini midgees are just a waste of time in my book - too much trouble to unwrap for that tiny tease of Tootsie Roll (only about 10 calories, BTW). Those are what I'll give to the Trick or Treaters. Hey - they have smaller mouths!

Now many of you have asked how the hell I can eat all this candy and not be hugely fat. Well, one weapon in my arsenal has always been diet soda. Anyone who knows me, knows I'm pretty much addicted to the stuff. And, as far as I'm concerned, there hasn't been a really great diet soda innovation in years.

Until now!

I present to you Ultra Violet Diet Mountain Dew. It says it's a mixed berry flavor. All I know is that it is really, really good. I just refuse to drink my calories - I want to save them all for food!

What a great day!! Reese's with MORE peanut butter, bags of candy bigger than small children, and a diet soda that tastes great! I LOVE AMERICA!!!!!!! It's a great life. Focus on the good stuff and let the other stuff go.

Tootsie Rolls Saved Me $900!

I'm a pretty good flosser. Not a great flosser, but a pretty good flosser. At least every other day. Well lately, I've been fighting with one of my teeth. The floss gets stuck or breaks. To be honest, it pisses me off. It seems like I'm worse off than before I flossed! Instead of whatever else was there, now I have that AND dental floss jammed between my teeth! GRRR!

I guess it really doesn't take much to piss me off sometimes. (Note to self - reread "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff.")

Anyway, this had been annoying me for a couple of weeks. Then one day I was chomping on a beloved Tootsie Roll when I swear I felt that tooth (actually a crown) move. With a chomp. Like it was loose! I might live in the South, but I have all my teeth. Even my wisdom teeth. And I plan on keeping them.

I called the dentist.

Saw him today - told him my story (even said a Tootsie Roll was involved). He checked it out. Sure enough, the crown was loose. He popped it out, cleaned everything, and re-cemented it right back in. He told me if I had waited several more weeks, he probably would have had to replace the crown costing me $900! Holy Healthcare, Batman!

If it wasn't for the Tootsie Roll I wouldn't have realized the crown was loose. I would have just kept being pissed off about the dental floss. Probably would have eventually flossed it right out of its socket in a fit of rage when the floss broke for the 8th time. I might have swallowed it and choked to death. Hell, Tootsie Rolls didn't just save me $900, Tootsie Rolls saved my life.

More proof there really is a higher power and that it is Chocolate. (Or at least chocolate flavored.)

So Much Candy, So Little Time

Geez - Easter is here and there's so much more candy to review! (Hey, if that's the biggest problem I have, I'm pretty darn lucky, huh? It's all about perspective.) Things are still on track with the guy I like - I hate to talk too much about it - afraid I'll jinx it. Suffice it to say, if I go down in flames, I'll let you know.

We've seen in past holidays that some candy makers just throw out the same old stuff in a different package. Well, we have some of that with Easter. The Least Possible Holiday Effort award goes to Tootsie Roll:

Okay - could this packaging be any uglier? This is the most depressing Spring packaging EVER. Boo!!!

Now Tootsie did better with the Pops:

They have an egg shape! Creative! Not the world's most festive wrapper - how about a chick or a bunny? But at least not so suicidal. Look at the egg pops:



That blue thing is raspberry (NOT my fav), pink (cherry) was good. I don't know why these are colored so differently than the regular Tootsie Pops. I mean, it's not like these are some crazy spring colors. But I like the idea and it is a different candy for the season. I also think these have a better Tootsie to Pop ratio than the regular pops. But it's possible that's my imagination. I honestly don't care enough to really try and figure that out. It hurts my brain to think about actually (weights, ratios, ugh).

These are all solid entries - you already know what you're going to get. Kissables (which I like) has some great Easter colors and a rabbit. I like chicks and rabbits and think they should be on all Easter candy wrappers.

When I was a kid we used to get malted milk eggs (robin eggs) in our Easter baskets. I remember my little brother getting all pastel coloring all over his mouth. Or maybe he would just chew one up and get me to look at his as he opened his mouth. Little brothers are experts in gross. But I don't think they make these like they used to. Here's what I could find:

Okay - there's a robin CARRYING an egg! (Do you think that's an African or a European robin?)Whoppers remind me the most of the taste of the eggs I remember, but the colors are too garish:

Of course, after those Tootsie Roll wrappers, these are a Godsend.

These fancy-schmancy ones are from Williams-Sonoma. More florescent than the ones I remember and (trust me) WAY more expensive, but these are the best of the malted milk eggs. The only thing I didn't like about them is that the green ones actually have a little lime flavor to the candy coating. I wasn't too keen on that. But the chocolate layer is definitely of a high quality. And they are pretty. I like pretty.









NECCO rejoins the candy party with PAAS splashed malted milk eggs in ice cream flavors:

Okay - let's just slow down here. PAAS makes Easter egg dye, right? I mean, the name is synonymous with Easter, but.....on candy? And do we really need ice cream flavors? And when the hell did orange become an ice cream flavor? Aren't we talking sherbet here? What the hell is going on?





Look at that purple and orange monstrosity! GLAACK! YUCK! Too orange, too ugly. Strawberry tastes like the crunch berries in Captain Crunch coated with some waxy strawberry stuff. Vanilla is okay as is chocolate, but there's no malt here. All taste like some kind of bad cereal. These have the feel of a candy made in a third world country. But on a good note, they do have both a rabbit and a duck on the package.

Look at this confectionery artistry from Germany for Williams-Sonoma:




These are chocolate truffle eggs and they are gorgeous as well as delicious:

From the horrifying to the sublime, Easter candy offers something for everyone. It's all there for you to enjoy! (And on Monday it will be half price!)

And remember in the great Easter Egg hunt of life:

1.) Sometimes what you're looking for is right under your nose.

2.) The early bird gets the most eggs.

3.) The real winner is the one who had the most fun.

4.) You are grown up when you have more fun helping the other kids find the eggs.

5.) If the Easter bunny doesn't make you smile, you need to loosen up.

6.) The only things you'll find in the hunt that you can take with you are your memories. Fill your days with good ones.

So wear the biggest Easter bonnet you can find, share your candy, and stop and smell the flowers. Life is sweet and all too short - savor every second.

The Valentine's Day Conversation Continues

I seem to be on a nostalgia roll (pun intended). While better than the "chocolate" Necco Wafer, no one would say a Tootsie Roll is the best chocolate they have ever tasted. But the company has been around a long time (1896) and is another great American candy company. They produce lots of other popular candies - Sugar Babies, Junior Mints, Andes Mints - to name a few.

And I like the Tootsie Roll - low in fat and with a good taste, I'm a fan and I don't care who knows it! Here's this year's Valentine offering:

I would like to see the Tootsie Roll people get crazy and make Tootsie hearts. I think that would be cool! Hey - a girl can dream, right?

But Tootsie is trying to get in on the Valentine's Day conversation and Necco better watch it's back!

See these? They read Puppy Love, Kiss Me, Call Me, I Love You, Sweetie Pie, and Be Mine! Sound familiar? Hmmmm....... at least I can read these. But I do think Necco was robbed.

Now here's something I did not like:

All the Tootsie Rolls are vanilla. And it's not a very good vanilla. At first they have kind of a chemical taste, but as you keep chewing (what can I say - I'm no quitter!) they have a better vanilla taste. But these are inferior to the chocolate Tootsie Roll and I hope the Limited Edition stays limited.

If you want a REALLY good chocolate Valentine treat, try these:

I really like Guylian - especially their chocolate seashells. (So creamy!) And these are completely delicious - the Guylian website describes them as "individually wrapped, delightfully sculptured Belgian chocolate hearts filled with exquisite roasted hazelnut praliné." They will melt in your mouth. A Tootsie Roll may NEVER melt in your mouth.

The Guylian hearts have been my favorite Valentine's Day treat so far. Oh - and on the back, the hearts say "I love you." What could be better? This is chocolate that tells you it loves you. I'd say Guylian has taken the Valentine's Day conversation to a whole new level.

Toot-Toot-Tootsie Goodbye!

I have long loved Tootsie Rolls. They are low fat and each one (of the Midgees anyway) only has 23 calories. I get a heck of a lot of pleausre and a good chocolately fix for that measley 23 calories. Midgees make me happy. (Although the name is kind of weak. I guess Midgets wouldn't be politically correct.) Here are the Holiday Midgees:

Festive. I like them. But....there is a usurper. I have found something I like better.

I didn't want to like these better. I just wanted to try these, thinking they would be far inferior to the lauded Tootsie. But the true test is which one is left in the candy bowl. And the truth is.....Toot - Toot- Tootsie, Don't Cry! I ate all the Cherry Cordials and left the Tootsie Rolls! Who am I?

I know - what the hell are these? They look cheap, they look cheesy. They are 2 for $5.00! They must be crap!

Oh no, baby! These rock! They are soft, chewy, and the perfect mix of cherry and cocoa. And they have only 30 calories and are also low fat. They kick Tootsie butt. Go crazy - invest the $2.50 and check them out.

I got them at Walgreen's with their sister candy:

I like these too - VERY festive. Also low in calories and fat, and I prefer the chewy peppermint to the traditional. And look at those trees - cute, cute, cute! (Hello, Russell Stover - some candy companies at least TRY!! I mean to get a tree in the middle - a green tree with a brown truck - wow!)

Let's look at all these guys naked:

Okay, maybe Brach's aren't perfect in appearance, but they are so soft, I think it kind of melts the design. But I don't care - they are good!!!

The lessons - do what you've always done and you might miss something better! Try new things, go new places, meet new people. And don't judge a candy by its wrapper.