True Motivation by Chocolate

Ever have one of those work disasters that just makes you want to cry? Either cry or poke your own eye out? I had one of those today.

I just discovered that everyone who has signed up for my e-zine through my website over the past FIVE YEARS has gotten nothing. Zero. Oh - they got a message thanking them for signing up and then, nothing. I thought my web folks were capturing the information from the forms and using the addresses to send out my quarterly newsletter. I was wrong. Apparently I've been paying them to send a newsletter out to about 10 people instead of the almost 1,000 people who have signed up.

I had asked them to send me a copy of everyone who singed up so I could know who was signing up and where they were coming from, but for some unknown reason, they thought I was going to re-key in all the e-mail addresses and send them back to them. I'm sorry - WTF???? That makes absolutely no sense to me. To me the whole point was to automate the process. I am so angry and devastated.

I've devastated because I made a promise and it was not fulfilled. I asked people to sign up for a free newsletter which they never received. I work so hard to generate interest in my work - and these are my biggest fans - people who were interested enough to go to my web site, fill out a form and sign up for my newsletter. I just can't tell you how frustrated and upset I am.

The only lucky thing is that I printed out a copy of each sign up (yep, all 1,000 of them). I just shipped them off to my web folks so we can get this fixed. But I'm still a liar and I still missed all those potential leads and all that excitement. Who wants to get a newsletter they signed up for 5 years ago, 4 years ago, 3 years ago, 2 years ago, even 1 year ago?

But what can I do? Absolutely nothing. Be glad I printed the names out, but that's it. My frustration and disappointment and embarrassment are meaningless and are wasted emotions. I have to get back on track. So what do I do? How do I restart the engine and motor on?

1.) Let it go. It is what it is. All I can do is send the names and start 5 years later. I hate it, but it is what it is.

2.) Be grateful. This is hard, but I'm damn lucky I killed all those trees and printed out hard copies of all those sign-ups. Better to have something than nothing. Also, I'm lucky I even caught this - it could have gone on for 5 more years. It was a fluke that I figured it out.

3.) Buy chocolate. This totally resets my mood. I went to Target after shipping off the box of 1,000 names and wandered through the candy aisle. There are some cool new chocolates out. I was thinking about how I could weave them into a blog posting. Once my creative juices started flowing, I felt better. I was refocused on what I could do rather than obsessing over what I couldn't.

Now I'm not saying go buy chocolate if that's not your thing. You just need to have a thing - maybe it's a hobby or a person you can always call to lift your spirits. I like the idea of it being something you enjoy and that makes use of your talents. It helps restore your faith that you're not a total loser.

4.) Realize you are human. This is hard for me - I mean, I KNOW I'm human, but I am so mad at myself right now. I somehow miscommunicated with my web guy - he didn't do this on purpose. I know we all make mistakes, but I seem to think I shouldn't. Heck, I train people how to communicate, how can I screw up? This is where I want to strangle myself - HOW could this happen and for so long? Big sigh....see #1.

It must have been the nougat.