Yum! Now THIS is My Kind of History!

I feel smarter and hungrier after taking a look at this:

History of chocolate

Very nicely done!

The Demise of the Whitman's Sampler

I'm working on a new seminar - so tough to come up with new ideas!  And I'm doing a little research on the Whitman's Sampler.  I came across this post that was just terrific!  Had to share it with you all.

Yes - Valentine's Day is coming!!


Fantastic post about the Whitman's Sampler


I am wondering why the Whitman's Sampler fell so far - it was the go to candy when I was a kid.  I bet it will be completely gone in 10 years.

Maybe because they haven't changed a damn thing in like 50 years?????

Maybe because Russell Stovers is LAME?  They bought the brand back in 1993 and have done absolutely nothing with it.

What do you all think?

Push Harder or Be Grateful?

I've been eating WAY too much chocolate lately, but I have taken some time out to actually write a blog post!

It's on my FireStar website since it's not really about chocolate.  But for those of you who might be thinking about your life (doing the whole New Year's thing), I think you'll find it interesting:

http://www.firestarspeaking.com/2013/01/04/be-grateful-or-push-harder/

Happy, Happy 2013!

On Adventure - Big and Small

I'm a big fan of adventures - of not letting your life get boring.  

This past weekend I had persimmon pudding for the first time.  Pretty good.  I went to the NC Persimmon Festival just to try it. 

I also visited two Walmart stores to find the new Gingerbread Oreos.  They are pretty darn good.  The cookie part is the golden (vanilla) Oreo, it's the filling that is gingerbread.  Yum!

Basically if I see something I haven't tried, I try it (well, if chocolate, sugar, peanut butter, cake or frosting are involved).  Why not?  What a great way to have a mini-adventure!  And you may not be a fan of sweets, so you can name your thing.  But it sure helps if it's inexpensive!

My next big adventure is not inexpensive, but it will be fun and will push me out of my comfort zone.  I've always wanted to go to Italy.  To stand in the Sistine Chapel and see all the glories of the Renaissance.  And who doesn't want to see the canals of Venice and the coliseum in Rome?  I've been putting the trip off, waiting until after the recession or until the European economy settled down.  I was also waiting until I met Mr. Right.  Well, I've met Mr. Right, and he just started a new job and can't go!  If you wait to live your life, you'll never live it.  

I'm headed to Venice on November 15th.  Recession still here, Europe far from settled down, and going solo.  I'm going with a tour group, so I'll make new friends.  The recession might hang around for a long time to come, and who knows when Europe will get it together.  Meanwhile the great wonders of history are eroding.  There is no better time to go than now.

Is there something you've always wanted to do?  What are YOU waiting for?  There will never be a perfect time or a perfect situation.  The only time you are guaranteed is now. You'll never be any younger.  Your life is now - live it!

Hershey - It Really IS the Sweetest Place on Earth!

I was lucky enough to do work for a client in Lancaster, PA last week, and I got to head back to one of my favorite places - Hershey, PA! You know you are in the right place when you see this from your windshield:

And things just get better! Forgive the blurriness - I was driving. Yes, photographing and driving. Not good.
 

The streetlights really are shaped like Hershey's Kisses - they alternate between wrapped and unwrapped.  and you gotta love the American flags.  You can't see it here - but there was baskets of flowers everywhere and loads of green grass and quaint houses.  Hershey is so pretty.

As soon as I got there, I headed straight for Chocolate World.  I feel these guys were there just to welcome me.  "Yay!" they say!  "Yay!" I say!

As soon as I got there, they were doing a chocolate tasting, so I popped in.  The last time I was there was back in 2007 and things have changed a lot.  Back then you got TONS of chocolate, it was great!  Now they have a fancy room (back then you were just in a restaurant area, it seemed almost illicit.  People walked by, looking at you like you were getting something special.  Which you were.) and you get very little chocolate. Especially considering it costs $10.

The girl went through it like she had done it 1,000,000 times before which I'm sure she had.  But it's chocolate!  You are in Hershey!  Get some emotion going!!  You know how I feel about non excited chocolate people.  What the heck is wrong with them?  What could be more fun?

And don't say, "If you did it for a living, you'd feel that way too."  I do!  And every time I get to give "Motivation by Chocolate" I love it!  Maybe she was just having an off day.  (I wanted to cast her from the stage and take over.  I would have had a blast with that tasting!)

Afterward, I wandered into their bakery - how I love bakeries! I love anything with copious amount of frosting involved:

Who wouldn't love getting one of these for their birthday?

Chocolate chip cheesecake:

Wow - these looked really good - Reese's PB & J!:

Hershey's Bliss Raspberry:

Smores - yum!!!

Pina Colada - eh.  But Reese's White PB Cup? - YES!!!

Almond Joy:

Take 5:

Heath Cheesecake - woohoo!!

Now here was a little enthusiasm!  I was raving and taking pictures and basically dancing with glee at the sight of all this fat and sugar.  And one of the cute bakery ladies pulled this out of the back to show to me.  How lucky is Elizabeth?

And how lucky are we?  Milton Hershey's birthday is on the 13th - and I, for one, am so glad he had the vision to build the Town of Hershey.  So think of him on Thursday and raise a bar (or a chip or a cookie) to the man who built the Sweetest Place on Earth.  Happy birthday, Milton Hershey!  And thank you.

On the Cover of the Rolling Stone.......Not Quite

I thought since my loyal readers went through my hip replacement with me, WAY back when I was a regular blogger, you all might get a kick out of seeing the cover of this month's Arthritis Today magazine:

Yep, that's me!

Can you believe it? They came across my blog posts and thought my story would be an interesting one for their readers. Working with them was a blast and I have to say, it's kind of cool to be on the cover. I've already had two old boyfriends e-mail me. (Not really the way you want to dazzle them, but what the heck!)

Just goes to show you, every cloud has a silver lining. You might not know it at the time - I was so bummed and sad when I first was told I had to get a hip replacement, and now I'm pain free and on the cover of a magazine! If you're going theough something tough right now, keep your chin up. You can't even imagine what the future holds for you. I can promise, it will be better.

Have a great 4th and eat more chocolate!!

The Brink of Summer

I know, I know - three months since a post! What the heck kind of crappy blogger am I?

I assure you, I have been eating my share of chocolate, I just haven't been writing about it.  But I have been talking about it - I've been giving loads of "Motivation by Chocolate" speeches!

I scored three bags of Godiva's almond butter Easter eggs on sale for half price and have almost polished them off. The great gals at my local Lindt store were happy to see me cart off a pound of their amaretto, almond and pistachio eggs as well as the BOGO pound of raspberry cheesecake truffles. I left the store with over three pounds of chocolate. Madness, I know. But it's so exciting!!!

On my recent trip to Vegas I dropped a cool $100 at the Jean Philippe Patisserie in the Bellagio. And I am on a Tootsie Roll bender as we speak. So my tastes range from the sublime to the mundane. Here's the patisserie - and yes, the lady in the dress is made of chocolate:

Here's me and my huge grin at my birthday dessert at Stack in the Mirage:

Better pic of the dessert:

Love the restaurant name in white chocolate - shouldn't all of us have white chocolate calling cards?

And here's me at one of my favorite places in all the world - the Bellagio:

So I am indeed guilty of not writing, but I am out there indulging in chocolate and savoring life! What about you? Here we are at the brink of another summer. What adventures - culinary or otherwise - will you have? Are you going to live your life or is life going to live you?

Don't let any chance to have chocolate or ice cream pass you by.  Life is short.

Cover Girls, Motivational Speakers, and Betty White

I am getting old. 

How do I know this?  Technology drives me insane.  I fought for hours trying to figure out how to change the font in the e-mail updates from this blog.  They were in this hard to read brownish color and had shrunken to about 3 point type.  I could find no way to alter how the e-mail updates looked.  I finally gave up and changed the whole layout of the blog in an attempt to fix it.  I won't know what they look like until this post comes to my own inbox.  If it is in a hard to read brownish 3 point type, I will age another three years.  My hair is turning grayer just thinking about it.

How else do I know I am getting old?  Social media makes me want to jab a knitting needle into my eye.  (Okay I don't knit, but you know what I mean.)  See? I'm like an old crotchety Grandma yelling at the kids about rock and roll.  I am now on Empire Avenue (totally clueless about that one), Facebook - business and personal, LinkedIn - my profile and FireStar Speaking's profile, Twitter, this blog and another one called The Spark, have a YouTube Channel, and still have a MySpace page somewhere.  Oh and Google Plus - personal and business.  Not to mention SpeakerMatch, eSpeakers, and other speaking directories.  Pinterest, FourSquare, Flickr - I feel my wrinkles deepening.  How about speaking, my actual job?  When should I do that? 

And the final way I know I'm getting old?

I'm going to be on the cover of Arthritis Today magazine.  Not Elle, not Glamour, not Health, not Fortune......Arthritis Today.  I am, for the month of May anyway, going to be the poster child (woman) for arthritis.

But you know what?  I'm good with it.  Getting to be on the cover of a national magazine is a WAY cool honor.  And getting old is not a bad thing - check out Betty White.  You can fight it (ala Demi) or ride it for all it's worth (like Betty).  I say, "yehaw!"

I just hope the font is better on the e-mail update.

Lessons in Love from Demi, Whitney and Denise

I'm not much of a celebrity watcher, but the recent passing of Whitney Houston and Demi Moore's drama have captured my attention.  Mostly because here are two women who are gorgeous, immensely talented, and arguably have everything (money, power, fame) any woman could ever want.  But both cast all their personal magnificence aside for love of an idiot.

Sigh.

So what to learn?

If a relationship is good, it:

Helps you grow and makes you stronger
Doesn't drive you to drugs or other self-destructive behavior (seems like a no-brainer.  I mean at what point do you decide smoking crack is a good idea?)
Doesn't cause you to lose yourself to be with someone else
Encourages you to revel in your awesomeness (tweeting desperate bikini shots is NOT what I mean)

The most important relationship you have is with yourself.  If you decide that your relationship with say, Bobby Brown, is more important than your own life, you have made a serious, serious mistake.  And if someone with all the gifts Whitney had did it, what about your 15 year old daughter?  What about your struggling middle aged neighbor?  What about all of us who aren't Whitney or Demi?

Here's what I know:

Hanging on to someone who doesn't love you is a waste of time.  Let that loser go and love yourself.

See all the love you already have - both of these women are loved by MILLIONS!  MILLIONS of people and they didn't even see it.  Every person reading this is loved by many, many people as well.  Don't let one blockhead blind you to that.

You are so much more than your love relationship.  Demi and Whitney apparently forgot that. 

Women need to stop giving so much more than they are getting!  I obviously don't know any of these people, but it just seems to me that Whitney gave a hell of a lot more to Bobby than he ever gave to her.  There's no prize for giving yourself away like this - just a lot of pain.  Save your kindness, your love, your energy, your time, your precious life for someone who can give the same back to you.

Happy Valentine's Day! A Little Sugar for You All!

Happy Valentine's Day, my friends!  Who better to share it with than you all and Peeps! 

Check out these little cuties - strawberry Peeps with a milk chocolate base:

It just doesn't get any cuter than this!



But here's the problem - they just don't taste very good.  WAY too sickly strawberry sweet - maybe they need dark chocolate rather than milk chocolate.  I love the chocolate/Peep combination - but the dark chocolate is the way to go.  The sugary Peep needs the offsetting bitterness of the dark chocolate.  Have any of you tried these?  What do you think?

Did you see these at Christmas?  I heard about them, but didn't see them in any store, so I had to order them from the online Peeps store.  I had to order a CASE just to try them!  I may not have been posting, but clearly my madness continues.  They are caramel flavor (yay!) and dark chocolate:

Still adorable!

And WAY better in flavor.  These are a winner!

You know, I tried to give a pack of these to one of my motivational seminar attendees and he said, "Ugh!  I hate those things!"  Now I KNOW he had never tried a caramel flavored chocolate based Peep.  Total stereotyping.  No open mind, no willingness to accept a gift.  You know what I say? 

Give Peeps a chance.  

For All the Free Time You Have - More Chocolate Blogs!

In my frenzy of New Year's organizing, I am going through my e-mail inbox.  Yes, Virginia, I am an e-mail hoarder. 


Or I have been.  I have sworn to empty the inbox by Monday morning.  (I started with 1246 e-mail messages, I now have 299.)  Now before you judge me, many of these were links to things I wanted to read (ha!) or video I wanted to watch.   Many were address updates.  But there really is no excuse.  Dr. Zasio (from Hoarders) would have some deep questions for me, "Denise, how could you let it get like this?"


I'd be like a lot of the people on the show - staring blankly at the mess in front of me, mumbling somehting about how it just happened. 


Anyway, there is a reason for me airing my electronic laundry.


I found an e-mail sharing this blog post listing the author's choice for the 50 Top Chooclate Blogs (and we made the list!):


http://www.educationdegrees.com/indulge-with-sweet-reads-the-top-50-chocolatier-blogs
http://www.educationdegrees.com/indulge-with-sweet-reads-the-top-50-chocolatier-blogs 
Be warned - if you go check out the list, you might get sucked in.  I cannot be held responsible for what happens to your time.

Where the heck did the time go, Shakespeare?

Time, time, wherefore art thou, time?

I had such grandiose plans for the day.  I was going to get so much done.  Projects were going to be tackled, proposals were going to be sent out, e-mail was going to be diminished.

Alas, poor time, I knew him well.

What happened?

I spent over an hour trying to get a fax to go through to a customer service provider.  I had to call them twice.  I tested my fax machine to make sure it was still working.  I finally scanned the documents and e-mailed them.  I have no idea if they have been received.

Every e-mail I sent out seemed to generate two more in response.  I have more e-mail in my inbox than when I started the day.

I had a lunch meeting.  I had to pick up dry cleaning.  I had a call to discuss my social and web strategy which is like trying to figure out the best way to find a needle in a landfill.  On Mars.  While blindfolded.

And here I am - blogging.  While more e-mail come in.  I can feel them.  (Because of course I disabled the alert so as not to be distracted.)

Sometimes the day just gets away.  What to do?

1.  Avoid lunch meetings.  I try, but then I worry about having no friends and associates.  But they are a time slayer.  Opt for a conference call next time.
2.  Don't buy anything or use any services that might ever involve customer service.  HA!  I see no way around this evil time serial killer.
3. Start the day off with a prioritized list.  I didn't do that today and time pulled a fast one on me and escaped.
4. Be glad it's Friday and pretend you're going to get everything done over the weekend. 

Ah Macbeth - to-morrow and to-morrow and to-morrow!

Death by Conference

Have you ever gone to a conference or a meeting and left feeling like everybody else had all the answers? They were all making tons of money or all had brilliant careers and somehow you were a loser? You weren't a loser before the conference, but somehow you morphed into a loser overnight.

It just happened to me. I heard great presentations by best selling authors, multimillionaires, people with thousands of Facebook fans and Twitter followers. I was told I should spend at least two hours a day on social media. I should be crafting my best selling book proposal and sending it to publishers. I should be traveling to Dubai and to other planets to speak. I should be doing webinars and creating books for the Kindle. Clearly I am WAY behind the curve.

After a pep e-mail from my good friend and fellow speaker, Wally Adamchik, who reminded me that my house was paid for and I earned a nice living talking about chocolate, I snapped out of it. Well, partially. I still feel a bit, well, less.

But I have developed some tips for myself and I wanted to share them with you:

1. Set a day aside to regroup. Yep - put it on your calendar. Look at all your notes, etc. and decide what YOU are going to do - what tips and ideas work for you. This is also known as thinking - something we don't seem to have time for anymore. Then craft a plan. I know I can't do everything I learned about. But if I don't make a plan, I'll wind up doing nothing.

2. BUT take some action immediately. I posted this blog entry. Tweeted. Secured my name on Empire Avenue (another social networking site I had never even heard of.) I already feel less loserish.

3. Start where you are. I would love to be speaking in Dubai for fees of $15,000 plus. But maybe I should get my desk cleaned off first. You have to start where you are - you can't win the Boston Marathon if you can't walk around the block.

4. Decide what YOU want. It is so easy to go to these things and get swept up in someone else's "dream." I really don't care about having 25,000 Facebook fans and Twitter followers. I just want to make a good living doing what I love. I want to have time to take long walks and enjoy life. I don't really have to speak in every country. I don't want paid staff.  And I've NEVER wanted to run a marathon. I agree with Christopher Morley who said - "There is but one success - to be able to spend your life in your own way."

5. These events are supposed to be inspiration, not demoralization. And they will be if you apply perspiration. (Ha, ha - pretty good, huh?) Up with sweat and down with regret! I can do more. I am far from working at full capacity. I do get distracted, and some days I waste too much time. I can always learn and grow and I can always take action. Taking action is the key. One good idea implemented is better than 50 left undone.  (Or 40 pages of notes I never look at again.)

6. Don't drink the Kool-Aid. I don't know how happy any of these people are.  It's proven that after about $75,000 (household income) greater amounts of money don't contribute significantly to happiness. (I don't know what travel to Dubai does.) I think what we all want is to be happy. Will 50,000 Twitter followers make me happy? Not as happy as one good friend who will remind me who I am when I forget. (Thanks, Wally.)

So here's what I think - always keep learning. Listen to those more successful (I'm using that term loosely - there are many definitions of success). Temper their advice with your knowledge of yourself and your goals. Take action on the ideas you want to try. You don't have to do it all - just do what you can, begin where you are. Always try to get better, but always keep your happiness in mind. At the end of the day, it is all that matters.

The Walking Dead

There’s a show on AMC called “The Walking Dead.” (It returns on February 12th if you want to check it out). I’ve never been a big zombie fan, but I kept reading reviews saying the show was good, so I decided to watch it. It is good and I’m hooked. Yeah, yeah, I know the undead aren’t very motivational, but they are scary. And part of being motivated is conquering fear. So let’s talk about zombies. Why are they so scary?

There are lots of them. One or two zombies we could deal with. Millions of zombies? That’s a whole ‘nother thing. To tackle fear you have to make it manageable. Take it one step at a time. Ask yourself what can I do right now? I can’t find a job immediately, but I can update my resume. I can’t cure my illness overnight, but I can get to my Doctor’s appointment tomorrow. You can always take the next step.

They are creepy. I mean, they are gross - they are the undead after all. But lots of things are creepy - blind dates, job interviews, Bourbon Street. But what’s a little creepiness? Creepiness never killed anybody. Decomposition is in the eye of the beholder. Sometimes you have to get past the creepiness to get what you want. Creepiness you can conquer.

They want to eat us. Okay, this is pretty scary. But lions want to eat us and they aren’t as scary as zombies. I think it’s scary because they ARE us. They are people with all the peopleness taken out of them. They don’t laugh or think or have compassion or empathy. We can’t communicate with them - they are soulless. They are us at our worst - a mirror none of us would ever want to look into.

They take away our humanity. What makes the show so interesting is the interaction among the characters. As each horror mounts, they respond in different ways. Some get harder and more violent themselves. Others reach out and offer comfort. Some turn inward. The ultimate danger is that the fear of the undead will take away the lives of the living. Fear will steal their joy, their passion. What fear are you allowing to take away some of your life?

Fear, like zombies, isn’t real. Don’t let yours make you one of the walking dead.

Wisdom from the Great Masters (cont.)

One of my all time favorite thinkers is Joseph Campbell who said “We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us.” One of the bravest things you can do is let go of something you thought was important to create room for something better. This is hard because at first you can’t clearly see the trade-off. You might have to give up the security of a job for the chance to start your own business. “You can’t steal second if you won’t take your foot off first” - attributed to so many people I don’t know who originally said it. You can’t know for certain what the outcome will be, but if you don’t take the chance, you may “lead a life of quiet desperation.” (Thank you for your eloquence, Thoreau.)

It may not just be job related, but relationship related. You may hang on to certain people (family, friends, customers, etc.) because they are there, not because they bring you anything of value. Letting go of the mediocre (or even the bad!) creates room for the extraordinary. Are you thinking, “Better the Devil you know, than the Devil you don’t know?” I say, “Quit hanging out with Devils, you blockhead!” I bet you already know what or who to let go of, you’re just afraid to do it. Joseph Campbell also said, “Follow your bliss.” Not your guilt. You have a year, you gonna spent it on first base with a bunch of Devils?

The most commonly made New Year’s resolution is to lose weight. If this was your last year, would you spend it worrying about your weight? Or would you get so absorbed in living that your weight didn’t matter? Many of the reasons for overeating - boredom, loneliness, stress - wouldn’t be problems if you were living an exciting, engaging, Devil-free life. The best way to lose weight is to get a life that’s more exciting than food. (Yeah, you can attribute that one to me too.) So instead of trying to find that new diet plan or that amazing new workout routine, know thyself and turn your attention to something that might actually work - alleviate your boredom, loneliness, and/or stress.

Ah - here’s a great one: “Success is more a function of consistent common sense than it is of genius.” - An Wang. Think how successful we’d all be if we just used our common sense. Don’t spend money you don’t have. Treat other people the way you would like to be treated. Don’t make promises you can’t keep. Don’t text, drink, or go seatbeltless when you drive. If it sounds too good to be true, it is. Someone who lied to you yesterday will probably lie to you today. But no, we cast common sense to the wind - spending money we don’t have, texting while we drive, and believing those who have repeatedly lied to us. Fire up your good old common sense - you might be amazed where it will take you.

All the years that have come before are over. There is a bright new year awaiting you. Are you going to live it or just get through it? Your year will be as exciting, as successful and as fun as you choose to make it. And if it’s the last one, let’s go out in a blaze of glory - running to second for all we’re worth, leaving the Devils behind!

Have a happy, happy 2012 everyone!!!! And thanks for reading!

Wisdom from the Great Masters for 2012

Another year ending - the older I get, I swear the faster they go by. According to interpretations of the Mayan calendar, 2012 could be it. We have until December 21st, but that might be the end. Let’s go for it and pretend this is our last year. I’ve brought in some of the best and brightest to advise you and have created a worksheet for you to put their advice into practice. http://www.firestarspeaking.com/ezine/winter2011insert.pdf

“We are always getting ready to live and never living.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson. Emerson is a God in my country and he’s spot on with this one. We all say things like, “We’ll do it when the kids are older; when we lose 10 lbs.; after the Recession”… we’ll do it someday. Do it now. There will never be a perfect time. Decide now what you really want to do in 2012- assume it’s now or never. (You good with never?)

“Know thyself” - said by Socrates, Plato, or some other wise Greek guy. If you are waiting for someone else to bring your life to you, you are in for a long wait. You have to get out there and live and figure out what works best for you. How can you know you love the mountains without having seen the vastness of the sea? How can you make the most of your talents if you don’t know what they are? Try one new thing a month for the next 12. I promise you will learn many things about yourself. Just because you’ve always done (or not done) something doesn’t mean that’s right for you. As another master, George Eliot, said, “It’s never too late to be what you might have been.” 2013 might be too late - bring it now!

While I’m a little wary of calling William S. Burroughs a great master, I do like his advice, “When you stop growing you start dying.” It’s easy to get so consumed by routine and our busy lives that we don’t keep learning. I get lazy and read too much nonfiction; I work instead of taking time to attend conferences and get better at what I do. Try things outside your field, you’ll be surprised how exciting life is and how vibrant you become when you’re growing.

“Silence is not the enemy!” - Denise Ryan. Okay, so I’m no great master, but I know you need some silence to know who you are, to figure out what you want, to learn. And we have become terrified of silence. We get in our cars and immediately have to call someone or turn on music rather than be alone with our thoughts. We have to post things on Facebook rather than just sit and experience them. Silence lends itself to thinking, thinking makes you a person of depth - a person who knows who they are and what they want rather than someone who just does what everyone else is doing. (Only a complete loss of thinking can explain the popularity of the Kardashians.) Silence really is golden. Pay attention to how seldom you, and especially your children, experience it. Change that - turn off the TV or the computer or the music, silence the cell phone - have some quiet time.

More tomorrow!

I hope this will help explain where the heck I've been!!

Hope you all are having a grand summer!

I see article after article about life balance.  I’ve seen pie charts with segments for each part of your life—a slice for everything from finances to romance.  Are you kidding me?  A pie chart for the messy, sloppy wonderful thing called life? 

I found life balance much easier when I had no life.  I worked and worked out and that was about it.  I was living with only two slices and it was pretty cool.  I didn’t know why people had trouble balancing their lives.  Now that I’m in a long distance relationship with a man with two teenagers, my slices are all jacked up.  I still have a slice for working, but have added slices for romance, driving, and dealing with teenage drama.  Working out has turned into a burnt crust.     

                                          

I think the whole concept of “life balance” just makes us all feel guilty.  (And creates jobs for life coaches.) If you look at the life balance pie chart (hereafter referred to as WOD—Wheel of Death), you’ll feel guilty about something.  Maybe you aren’t having enough of the fun slice or the community slice or the spiritual slice.  I think life balance is a bunch of crap. 

First, I don’t think anyone can choose the right slices for you.  You may be perfectly happy without having a community slice for example.  Who’s to say that a life dedicated to work isn’t a great life?  Or to spirituality?  You gonna tell the Dali Lama he needs to focus more on romance?  Balance scmallance—life HAPPINESS is what matters.  Balance makes it sound like there’s some ideal arrangement of the slices and if you could just find it, everything would be perfect and cherubs would fly down from heaven and land on your shoulders.  Bah!  I’m going to tell you the truth.

1.) Forget about stupid life balance and focus on what makes you happy.  Does it make you happy to be in debt up to your eyeballs?  No?  Then you better spend some time on your finances.  How much?  Enough to make you happy and keep the rest of your life running smoothly.  You can spend all day stock trading or you can just spend less than you bring in.  You get to decide.

2.) Make choices.  What slices are you going to just let go of?  You can’t have everything.  I’ve spent a lot less time working (I gave up some evenings and weekends) and working out (people at my gym are probably looking for my obituary) to have more time for romance and driving.  (I’m still trying to reconcile myself with teenage drama).

3.) Determine your priorities—in order.    No time for exercise?  That’s okay if your health is at the bottom of your priority list. Do you really know what your priorities are?  I loved my life before, but the truth is, I was lonely.  So having someone great in my life is a higher priority for me than working, but not higher than my health.  So for me, health is number one, romance is number two and work is number three.  As a result, I have made cardio non-negotiable.  I compromised a bit on weight lifting.  Those three are about all the slices I can handle and handle well.  What about you?  Be honest with yourself.  What are your REAL priorities?  There are no wrong answers, there’s just wasted time (which means wasted life).  Deciding what you can let go of is one of the most important things you can do.

4.) Give yourself permission to let go.  I’m still feeling pretty guilty about not lifting weights as much as I used to.  And I haven’t had time to do a blog post in months!  But my life has three new important people in it and that takes up a lot of time.  I can’t do it all and you can’t either—and you know what?  It’s okay.  So I’m not selling as many tickets to the gun show—do 46 year old women really have to have killer biceps?

5.) Realize your priorities are interrelated.  Don’t think I could just say, “Wheeeeee!  I’m in love!” and quit working.  I don’t think my guy would want to date an unemployed loser who apparently thinks his is the only life worth living.  I need to bring my own cool, exciting life to the relationship.  Think of your own life—maybe you put your spouse first, children second, and yourself last.  Now you’ve gained weight (no time for you to exercise) and the kids have moved out, and you feel terrible about yourself.  That’s going to impact your marriage big time.  On the WOD no slice is an island. 

6.) Say no.  You don’t have to be all things to all people.  You don’t have to take the volunteer post at the Rotary, drive little Johnny to 85 events, run a marathon, dye your hair, bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan and never let him forget he’s a man (or she’s a woman).  Get off the WOD—do what brings you joy.  And sometimes that might be absolutely nothing.  Saying no is a great thing—it helps people know who you really are and it frees you up to say yes to what you really, really want.

7.) Do you want “life balance” or do you want control over your life?  I think you want control.  You’ll never have absolute control, but deciding what YOUR priorities are and planning your time around them will go a long way in getting it for you.  If you don’t plan your time, it will get planned (read wasted) for you.

8.) Don’t let assumptions and fear make your choices for you.  My Mom had a strong work ethic—always taking work home and coming in on the weekends.  When she passed away, we asked her boss to say a few words at her funeral.  He said, “I was always trying to get Mary to go home.”   She put that pressure on herself as many of you do.  Do you assume you have to work late?  Are you afraid to say no and set appropriate boundaries?  If you are asked to do something and say yes, people think you are willing to do it.  If you really don’t want to do it, that must mean you are afraid to say no, afraid the person won’t like you or the boss will fire you.  Examine those assumptions.

Forget some ideally balanced life.  Instead determine who you are and what you really want.  Then be brave enough to let go of the rest.  You don’t need no stinkin’ wheel to tell you how to roll!

Corporate Promotional Chocolate

I love the idea of promotional chocolate!  And there are many different ways to do it.  this company, Tasty Image (http://tastyimage.com/) contacted me and asked me to send them a jpeg of my logo.

I was thrilled to get a box of very well packed samples:

This is a really great rendition of my logo in a sugar coating over a block of delicious creamy milk chocolate.

Here's a business card in dark chocolate - this one was still good, but I preferred the thicker milk chocolate.  But how cool is a chocolate business card?

This is a chocolate coin - very cute.  They also do pictures - you could use this for a wedding or a graduation or a cute baby pic.

Not very big, but so fun!!!!  And yes, I know there's a fine line between cool and cheesy - you have to figure how how not to cross it on your own.

See how the sugar layer works?  The image is printed on and then attached to the chocolate - probably when it's nice and melty.  Yumm......melty......

Now here's another option - logo on the wrapper:

This is Thea Kincaid of Thea's Ideas http://www.theasideas.com/ - she came up with this terrific idea to promote our businesses at the upcoming New Bern Professional Development Conference - where I'll be giving my Motivation by Chocolate session. Isn't she great?  And how do you like our funky cool fire background?  Woohoo!

The chocolate in Thea's bars is rich Belgian chocolate - super creamy and great.

Here's another version of the promotional wrapper.  This one contains AMAZING chocolate by Jack Fisher confections http://www.jfconfections/ based in San Diego.  It was created for the Lodge at Torrey Pines - a very swanky place.

The ingredients are to die for - English toffee with dark chocolate and cacao nibs.  This was delicious gourmet chocolate that the Lodge has to be thrilled to have its logo on.

The Lodge was my kind of place - not just one, but TWO corporate chocolate bars!!  This one is another version of the chocolate business card and was made by http://www.sweetpetiteconfections.com/.

I love that Arts and Crafts logo - rendered beautifully here.  And it's packed in a lovely Arts and Crafts style tissue paper.  The entire thing is a work of art.  This is the back of the bar - isn't it gorgeous too?

The ingredients here?  62% dark chocolate and Hawaiian sea salt - a sweet, delicious dark chocolate and the perfect amount of sea salt.  A fantastic bar!

And yet another version - here's it's all about the wrapper.  The Gamble House is a famous Arts and Crafts home - when I saw this in the gift shop, I had to grab it.

Not amazing chocolate, but good enough.  Certainly no mockolate!

The bottom line?  Chocolate is good business!  Companies have come up with easy ways to replicate your logo or pictures or website - and who doesn't love chocolate?