Friday, February 17, 2012

Lessons in Love from Demi, Whitney and Denise

I'm not much of a celebrity watcher, but the recent passing of Whitney Houston and Demi Moore's drama have captured my attention.  Mostly because here are two women who are gorgeous, immensely talented, and arguably have everything (money, power, fame) any woman could ever want.  But both cast all their personal magnificence aside for love of an idiot.


So what to learn?

If a relationship is good, it:

Helps you grow and makes you stronger
Doesn't drive you to drugs or other self-destructive behavior (seems like a no-brainer.  I mean at what point do you decide smoking crack is a good idea?)
Doesn't cause you to lose yourself to be with someone else
Encourages you to revel in your awesomeness (tweeting desperate bikini shots is NOT what I mean)

The most important relationship you have is with yourself.  If you decide that your relationship with say, Bobby Brown, is more important than your own life, you have made a serious, serious mistake.  And if someone with all the gifts Whitney had did it, what about your 15 year old daughter?  What about your struggling middle aged neighbor?  What about all of us who aren't Whitney or Demi?

Here's what I know:

Hanging on to someone who doesn't love you is a waste of time.  Let that loser go and love yourself.

See all the love you already have - both of these women are loved by MILLIONS!  MILLIONS of people and they didn't even see it.  Every person reading this is loved by many, many people as well.  Don't let one blockhead blind you to that.

You are so much more than your love relationship.  Demi and Whitney apparently forgot that. 

Women need to stop giving so much more than they are getting!  I obviously don't know any of these people, but it just seems to me that Whitney gave a hell of a lot more to Bobby than he ever gave to her.  There's no prize for giving yourself away like this - just a lot of pain.  Save your kindness, your love, your energy, your time, your precious life for someone who can give the same back to you.


KiddoKare1 said...

Well said, Denise! I don't know why it is so easy for us as women to fall into that "trap", but we do it all too often.

Denise Ryan said...

We we do - even the most famous of us! Thanks so much for the comment! xoxoxo

Anonymous said...

I think Whitney's problems existed long before Bobby Brown. Relationships like chocolate are an acquired taste. A research into her family history shows drug addictions and relationship problems with a cousin and the celebrated god mother. Images like chocolate flavors are also created. To the public, she was Whitney Houston superstar, but in the ghettos of Newark, NJ she was simply Nippy and it was Nippy's family who created the drama that forced Bobby and his family to leave the funeral. Could they have also been her real "Bobby'?

Denise Ryan said...

Great points Anonymous - and thanks so much for the comment. Ultimately Whitney made those choices - we all can either rise above or, well, not.