Male Ego Delusion, Fruit and Nuts

Hi Gang!! Happy Friday or Saturday! (Or if you're reading this on Monday - I hope you had a great weekend!) I've got a date lined up with the guy I like, so keep your fingers crossed. I'm taking it slow and trying not to get my hopes up - which is hard! In the meantime, I am still hearing from the match.comers. One man simply will not give up. He kept e-mailing me so I finally decided to respond. (I usually just ignore men I'm not interested in.) But he wouldn't give up - he was sure if I saw more pictures of him working out (I kid you not) I would want to go out with him.

He's 50, not a bad looking guy, but he's already got a shirtless pic on match.com and I really don't need to see anymore. There seems to be a lot of MED (Male Ego Delusion) on match. The profile is what always either gets me to give the guy a chance (funny ALWAYS gets a chance) or not. This man's profile was a total turn-off. Besides talking about how physical he likes to get and how much he likes to kiss (I mean puleeze - save that - it's just creepy in a profile), he wrote "I'm looking for a woman who wears high heels with almost all of her apparel." You have got to be kidding. This guy is 50 and that's the best he's got?

So I decide to tell Mr. MED the truth - I e-mail and say "We're not a match - I don't wear high heels with most of my apparel." I don't. I spend a good 25% of my time in gym clothes. And I don't want to date a man who's looking for any bimbo in heels. I bring WAY more to the table than that.

Would you believe he doesn't give up? He says the profile was written quickly and the high heel thing really isn't a requirement. (Hmmmm....they why the hell did you write it?) I don't want a guy changing his profile so I'll take the bait. He should hold out for his high-heel wearing dream girl.

Another man called me today - he said he saw I was speaking in his area and had also seen me on match. Holy smokes - that's a little scary that he tracked me down, but okay, I can handle it. We talked a bit, he's a professional and was complaining how hard it was to find women who could fit in both his professional and personal worlds. And you know how he determined this? If the woman knew what to wear. Short skirts and heels for business/after hours events. Me, the queen of blunt and upfrontness, says "I don't wear short skirts to business functions." He said, "Well , you know what I mean - I like girlie girls." I told him, "I'm not a girlie girl - I'm an athlete, I'm a business woman." (Now, I have a backless gown that will bring a man to his knees, but I'm a woman, not some Barbie doll for these freaks to dress up.)

I'm not saying men don't want these things, but if that's the best you can come up with for what you're looking for, you are way too shallow for me. If a man were to ask me what I was looking for, I'd say something crazy like "someone who can make me laugh" or "someone who likes to travel" or "a guy who's active". I figure most adult men know how to dress and I just don't worry about it. If I'm attracted to a man's personality and looks, the last thing I'm worrying about is what's he's wearing. Good grief.

Since we're talking about fruits and nuts, let's get back to the EGGSTRAVAGANZA!

I know I've sworn off Russell Stover, but I had never tried anything strawberry or raspberry filled. And even though they weren't wearing high heels, I decided to try them:

Well, they certainly seem to know how to dress. Lovely! Very appropriate.

Now, this is what I really think men care about - how they look naked (strawberry is the milk chocolate on the left, raspberry is the dark chocolate on the right):

After autopsy, you'll see how pink and fluffy strawberry cream is. Raspberry is pretty fluffy too - raspberry whip.

All I can say is "Whip it good!" Raspberry Whip is awesome! I was dumbstruck! It tasted like real raspberry! I was aghast! I don't even love raspberry, but I loved this.

Strawberry was sweet, but it didn't really taste a lot like strawberry. Typical RS. But hey, who cares what's on the inside? It knows how to dress!

Now we need to talk about some serious eggs. See's (check out their Easter candy) just doesn't mess around with these things These babies are gigantic! The Rocky Road Egg weighs 9.5 oz! It has 1200 calories! And it has cute frosting and yellow flowers. I accidentally knocked off the white frosting, so you won't get to see how pretty it really was. Guess that's the problem with clothes - eventually they come off:

The smaller Mayfair egg is 4.2 ozs and has 480 calories. Both are pretty!! And look what's inside!!

This egg is PACKED with marshmallow (fluffy, good marshmallow), walnuts, and layers of milk chocolate. It's pretty damn good. I also have a can of See's nuts - and they are some of the best EVER! I am not kidding you. It's a nut assortment with no peanuts. I hate it when you get assorted nuts and they are packed with peanuts. Cheapskates. Not See's. The walnuts in this egg are delicious! And good for you - Omega 3s! (Well, that's probably offset a little by the quarter ton of marshmallow and chocolate, but what the hell.)

Look how great the Mayfair Egg looks:

My first bite - I thought it was too sweet - those cherries were a little overwhelming. But I wound up eating the whole egg. (So much for my abs.) And there can be no better endorsement than that! The walnuts were great, the chocolate good - this is a real Easter treat. I suggest sharing this and not gobbling the entire egg yourself.

Now look at these - these are the last two left from the four pack (with peanut butter and cocoanut). The sprinkled one is Bordeaux, the other is chocolate butter with walnuts:

Aren't they gorgeous? Bordeaux is a delicious, creamy mixture of brown sugar and butter cream. It almost tastes a little mapley. There's no maple in the ingredients list, but that's what it tasted like to me. The creamy texture and the sprinkles are irresistible.

Chocolate Butter is way rich - it's really like chocolate fudge. Without the nuts, I think it would be too much. The nuts really help balance the sweetness. If you like fudge, this egg is for you!

Let me go put on some heels with my short skirt - my pimp daddy says it's time to get to work!