Chocolate Versions of Ice Cream

Somethings really are better left alone.  I think ice cream is better as ice cream and chocolate shouldn't try to be ice cream.

I got these (by Turin) because peanut butter was included.  I think there should be real peanut butter ice cream.  But I've never seen it, so there must be a reason.  Maybe it's just no good.  It seems like it would be good.....

Well, I can say with certainty the peanut butter here was no good!  UGH!!!!!  Terrible!  The orange one in the lower right corner was supposed to be peanut butter.  HORRIBLE!

The tan one was coffee and that was much better.  Tasted like the coffee ice cream my Dad liked when I was a kid.  Faux ice cream in my book - I mean, really - coffee as an ice cream favor?  Even as an adult I don't like it.  As a kid I was convinced it was some kind of adult conspiracy.

Godiva produced a bunch of ice cream truffles - this one is pecan sundae:

Looks good with gooey caramel, vanilla and carmelized pecans on top.  But wasn't very extraordinary to me.  I think I'm the only person alive that thinks Godiva is totally overrated and completely overpriced. Zzzzzz.........

More Godiva ice cream flavors:

Pistachio:

I like the screaming green color and the layer of chocolate.  It was smooth and creamy, but I found the flavor weak.

This was supposed to be Neapolitan with strawberry and vanilla (notice the pink drizzle?):

No strawberry!  A total rip off - instead I got chocolate and vanilla.  Again smooth and creamy, but not very flavorful.

Ditto for this one which I think was supposed to be Rocky Road:

Zzzz.......

Hazelnut Gelato:

I love hazelnut and even this one was boring.  Totally disappointing.  Godiva is going to be my new Russell Stover.  I hate them both.  Although I might hate Russell less because he's so much cheaper.

Let's check out their $3.00 bars.  Here's Hazelnut Gelato again:

Look at those fancy G's - must stand for Gotcha!  or Gullible or Greedy:

I can see the hazelnut, but I can't taste much of it.  Tastes like a chocolate bar. Lame.

Here's Vanilla Sundae:

Boo!  What vanilla?  A nice dark chocolate (which completely overpowers the vanilla), but sure as hell nothing like a vanilla sundae.

And finally Oranges & Cream in white chocolate:

While heinously sweet, this actually resembles something like ice cream.  Remember those orange push-up things the ice cream man used to have?  My brother liked those.  Orange sherbet or some similar crap?  One step above SORBET?  That's what this tastes like.

When you are turning chocolate into sorbet you have lost all credibility as a chocolatier.  Like orange sherbet needs to be replicated in chocolate.  That's chocolate treason.

The Emperor really does have no clothes.  Maybe Lady Godiva really is a good image for them. 

Lessons?

Ah - they repeat so often!  Just because you CAN do it, doesn't mean you should.

A fancy wrapper and an expensive price don't mean a thing.  You really can't judge a chocolate bar by its wrapper.

Be who you are - ice cream should be ice cream and chocolate should be chocolate.  When you try to be something you 're not - we lose you.  And there's only one.