Thursday, August 27, 2009

F'ing Sorbet

I am a sick, sick woman. I love sweets. I now have so much chocolate and candy in my house, it's scary. If I do have a date that I actually bring home, he'll be blogging about the freaky candy lady. Clearly the base of my food pyramid is sugar, fat and cocoa butter. And you know what? I like it like that!!! Because of this sickness, when I attend a luncheon or a dinner, I always want to know what dessert is going to be. Who cares about the entree?

Recently I was at a dinner with my new cool friend, Tracy and several of our buddies. I had spent most of the meal wondering what dessert would be. When the plates had been cleared, I wondered this out loud. I told everyone to keep their expectations low, it might be the most dreaded of all desserts - sorbet. Knowing that that was a remote long shot. Of course, no one listened and one friend started telling about a dessert she recently had that involved peanut butter mousse. (Holy God!) I told everyone about the awesome chocolate pyramid at the CPA Dinner. Soon the dessert arrived! I'll be damned. Oh yeah, you guessed it - sorbet.

Tracy immediately takes a picture and posts it on her Facebook page:

with the caption "F'ing sorbet!" (That would be my thumb.) Tracy is my new best friend. I like her way with words.

I want to get a t-shirt that says that. Maybe start a band called F'ing Sorbet.

I mean, really? Sorbet? Who gets excited about that? What could be more anticlimactic? That dessert is a great disappointment. I wished I had eaten more bread.

We're going to the restaurant with the peanut butter mousse on Monday. It's payback time!

Along the lines of sorbet, no one has yet to do anything decent with yogurt and chocolate. I reviewed that heinous Weight Watcher's stuff a while back. Boston Cream Pie? I don't think so. Well someone at Breyers lost their mind and came up with this:

Aw - look at that - it's called Inspirations - how motivational! Look how great it looks in the picture! In real life? No so much:

Inspirations? Yeah that inspires me to reconsider sorbet.

Let's compare reality with Breyers' fantasy:

GLACK!!! These suck! Sorry, but I love yogurt. This is horrible. The chocolate chips are good, but Breyers should stick with low fat ice cream. Pass on these - they're just nasty.

Apparently the temptation to do something with chocolate and yogurt is just too much. Here's Yoplait's latest entry:

Delights. Delights, Inspirations - bring it down a notch, people. Delight is what I think peanut butter mousse would be. This ain't that delightful. It's better than the Breyers stuff and had 40 less calories, but Jello low fat pudding is like a million times better and has 60 calories.

Here's the bottom line - regular yogurt is way better than both of these. So far if you want chocolate, you're better off with frozen yogurt or low fat ice cream or even pudding. I love chocolate, but yogurt may just not be the venue.

And don't even TRY to give me chocolate sorbet!!!!


David R. Lindquist said...

Re: the disappointing Breyers product. Welcome to the exciting world of Food Styling! I suspect the package photo shows a cup that was flash frozen solid after being treated with a thickener and then sculpted. I've seen tricks like this done. Appropriate: it reminds me of some of the guys who slipped through the Match net: maybe they were Bio Styling?

Denise Ryan said...

Bwah, ha, ha!!! David, you are the best!! I think you are right on it!!