Monday, December 15, 2008

In Defense of Fruitcake

Carl Weaver, I am dedicating this to you.

Carl likes fruitcake. And I have to admit that there is some mighty fine fruitcake out there. It really doesn't deserve the fear and loathing it seems to generate. I mean fruit, nuts and cake are involved - what's wrong with that?

USA Today contained the results of an online survey of 3,600 apparently insane people. Respondents were asked about their holiday snacking plans. Fruitcake came in last at 11% (behind even trail mix at 12%). This must have been multiple choice, who even THINKS of trail mix as a holiday snack? The number one choice was cookies with 65% - which I wholeheartedly agree with. I worship Christmas cookies and making them used to be a tradition for my family. I have a lot of good memories surrounding the Christmas cookie. And Christmas cookie dough. Mmmmmm............cookie dough.....I need a moment.

But number 2, number 2 was VEGETABLES! WTF! VEGETABLES BEAT OUT CHOCOLATE! Who in their right mind when asked about holiday snacking, says, "Oh yes, I plan to eat vegetables as my holiday snack." What about Chex Mix? What about peanuts or mixed nuts? What about nachos? Or chips and dip? What about those little hot dogs or wings or meatballs? What about snack cakes like Little Debbie? What about ice cream? What about cheese and crackers? What about FRUIT for God's sake? What about chocolate covered cherries? What about candy canes and Tootsie Rolls or any candy? VEGETABLES BEAT CANDY?

Now clearly some of these people are just plain lying. We do not have an obesity epidemic because people are snacking on vegetables. Some other possibilities are:

They were too embarrassed to document the fact that they were planning to sit around eating frosting out of the can.

They are confused by candy corn and jelly beans.

They really are PLANNING to eat veggies, but know that's just a fantasy and they will be heading straight for the Fritos and Velveeta.

They thought the vegetables would be covered in chocolate or powdered sugar or fried. Or fried, then covered in powdered sugar and chocolate. Ho, ho, ho!

Three vegetable farmers each responded 1,200 times.

They had the shakes so bad from crashing after all the sugar they've been eating, they hit the wrong key on their keyboards.

And the number one reason they might have responded this way:

Vegetables ARE their snack because cookies and chocolate are the main course!

And if any of you really are dead set on snacking on vegetables, feel free to send all other snacking items to me. Even fruitcake.

6 comments:

babbsela said...

There is no way that vegetables beat out chocolate. They must have conducted the survey at a Weight Watcher's meeting.

Denise Ryan said...

AMEN!!! You are so right!

Thanks for the comment!!

Heidi said...

Did you know that in Jamaica, the traditional wedding cake is fruitcake?
Maybe they make theirs with some cool and awesome tropical stuff like mangoes. I thought that was interesting ... and where is Carl Weaver buying his fruitcake? He must have a source that the rest of us don't know about.

As for the vegetables ... my goodness, maybe these people are eating very rich casseroles with chunks of melted Velveeta all over the place. I agree, they have to be lying!!!

Carl Weaver said...

Heidi, I buy my fruitcakes anywhere I see them. Last year I bought one at a hardware store. I don't know why they had fruitcakes but I didn't ask questions. This year I found one at the supermarket. The world is a crazy place, riddled with fruitcake at every turn.

I am surprised how the fruitcake takes such abuse, yet is a holiday staple and is part of a large, growing industry. Each year more fruitcakes are made and people give them a bad reputation, yet these companies stay in business, so lots of people claim to hate fruitcake but actually buy it.

Veggies are really just ranch dressing delivery devices, as far as I am concerned.

Denise, if you aren't going to finish that can of frosting, I will be all over it.

Denise Ryan said...

Oh Carl - you crack me up!!!! You know- I really need to visit that place that makes fruitcake here in NC. I bet it's really good right off the line! Maybe fruitcake needs frosting! And ice cream and chocolate! : )

mike said...

Denise Ryan I'm not sending you all my snacking items but I will share! I live not too far from that place in NC that makes fruitcakes and one is in the mail for you right now !Its called Southern Sumpreme and not only do they make fruitcakes but they also make cookies and candies.If you decide to visit them and you park in the parking lot beside their kitchens the smell from all the goodies they are cooking will drive your taste buds crazy!!!