It Don't Mean a Thing if It Got that Fling!

I have found some new treats!! And I have also uncovered a fascinating marketing trail. We are SO doing candy CSI right now!

I spotted these a few days ago in Walgreen's:



They are good - light, crunchy. They taste like a layer of meringue with a whipped chocolate overlay all coated in milk chocolate. They are billed as "whipped-up chocolate truffle on a crisp layer enrobed in real milk chocolate." A real layer of WHAT? That's completely random. They don't really fill me up at all. If I'm gonna have chocolate, I'd rather have a regular Three Musketeers. But the crunch factor is kinda cool. You guys should try them and let me know what you think.

However, this is just a repackaging of what must have been a marketing disaster. The Fling bar:

It's tag line is "naughty, but not that naughty" and it actually has a slight pink shimmer (I kid you not). It's really had to see, but it's there.

Can you so tell this is exactly the same bar? The description here? "A delicate truffle on a subtle crisp layer enrobed in shimmering chocolate." (Still the random crisp layer.) Look at that crappy Fling lettering. That lame pink wrapper. I'm sure women were wondering - what the hell IS that? Birth control? Tampons? Packaging disaster.

And if we want to eat chocolate, we're going to eat it, dammit! Naughty? Please. This must have been thought up by a bunch of men - I can hear them now, "And let's make the chocolate shiny pink! Women like shiny pink things!" Either men or 13 year old girls. And if Mars is using 13 year old girls to design chocolate bars, then they deserve such a disaster.

The Fling was was unveiled at Candy Expo last year, and I liked it, but I haven't really seen much of it. I have to say, the repackaging is genius!! People know and love Three Musketeers, so maybe this will work. But I think women will choose the real Three Musketeers over this. It's just so much better. And so much more filling. I predict failure.

Now here's the real crime. Mars so ripped off this candy by the German company Bahlsen:

These are described as meringue biscuits (I KNEW it!)with cocoa creme filling and Swiss milk chocolate and they blow the stupid Fling/Three Musketeers Truffle Crisp out of the water. The chocolate is so much richer and creamier and it's no higher in calories (you get four of these little guys which is about the same size as two of the larger sticks). These have 160 calories, those have 170. Nice try, Mars! But I have uncovered your sneaky ways!!!

Now we're all familiar with the Milky Way bar:

I can take or leave the Milky Way. I think Snickers is so much better, that I never pick Milky Way. But it's not bad - I like the increased caramel.

But look what I found in Walgreen's:

It's ALL caramel. I like caramel, so I like this, but it is one rich bar. Holy smokes! I really felt like I needed some peanuts or something to break things up. Maybe a big glass of milk. Maybe a gallon of milk. Maybe a Holstein. Holy God. I actually think I like the regular Milky Way better.

I think this may also go the way of candy bars past. But I'd love to hear what you all think. Personally, my heart belongs to Snickers.

Okay - what have we learned?

Change your appearance and you might be able to change your life. I know - a million times I've talked about not judging a chocolate by its wrapper, but we do. Of course, if the bar really stinks, no wrapper will save it. But I can guarantee that new wrapper will sell a helluva lot more Fling bars than the old one. "Naughty, but not that naughty." Kill me.

Good ideas are everywhere. Somebody at Mars is checking out German cookies and got a new idea for a candy bar. I went to a Saints game and got a great idea for a sales meeting. Keep your eyes and ears open. Think. It's something we don't do as much as we should.

You can have too much of a good thing. Does the Milky Way really need at be ALL caramel? Reeses did the same thing with their Peanut Butter Lovers Cup. We need the chocolate - it really makes it work. That third trip to the buffet line ruins the other two. Moderation is a wise policy.

Just because you can do it, doesn't mean you should do it. Shimmery pink chocolate bars? Does Mars not realize that chocolate itself is the most beautful sight in the world? Some things just don't need any decoration.

Can I get an Amen, Church of Chocolate?

Who Dat Candy

That was one hell of a Super Bowl!! After going to a Saint's game and putting together a sales meeting where we created the Sell Dat Nation in Baton Rouge, I was totally cheering for the Saints.

So in honor of the Super Bowl champs, we'll check out some Louisiana treats. I snagged all these in the airport (which means they were insanely overpriced - but what the hell).

These "Gator Bites" are "fudge dipped mini sandwich cookies with toffee sprinkles":




I guess the toffee "sprinkles" are the gator teeth. These are not bad - especially if you are stuck in the airport for three hours with nothing else to eat. Are they extraordinary? No - they are cheap cookies covered with cheap chocolate. The toffee really helps. I believe toffee makes everything better. These are by Shakespeare's Chocolate - www.shakechocolate.com based in IOWA. Don't really think of Iowa as the gator capital of the world.

I found these in Target? Walmart? Hell, I can't remember:

Wow - how different they look! They are really the exact same thing minus the toffee. They have a thicker coating of chocolate. They are made by Nassau Candy www.nassaucandy.com. While they look better, I actually like the sloppier looking gator bites better. Who dat!! Less chocolate and more cookie seems to work better here. But don't forget the toffee!.

New Orleans is known for their pralines. These are all by Aunt Sally's and they are basically sugar, pecans, corn syrup, evaporated milk, cream, butter, and molasses. These are so NOT light!!! Let's face it - New Orleans is not known for it's health food.

This one was weird - I swear it had a strange bacon like taste! What the hell? Didn't like it.

This one was even more horrible to me:

It looks just like the first one, but has Tabasco sauce in it. Yuck. I like my candy to be sweet, not spicy. Definitely not working for me. Bleech!

Hey - chocolate!! Triple chocolate!!

This was okay - I like the nuts, but I'd rather have chocolate than this butter, cream, corn syrup, thing. These pralines just aren't working for me. Yucko.

It looks good, though, right?

I thought the lite version would be horrible, but it was actually the best of all! Whoa! At 85% less sugar and 40% less calories, why eat that other crap?

This one is a chewy rather than a creamy praline:

Look at all these nuts!! I thought this would be awesome!!

Not so much. I'd rather have the pecans with a light glaze or covered in chocolate or just naked. Boo!



Here's the same thing by Woody's, but it also has walnuts:

I like the addition of the walnuts - helps offset all the sweetness. But still - eh. What a waste of a lot of good nuts.

Awww. At least we had the Gator Bites. And the Super Bowl. Who dat!!!!!!

For the Love of Raspberry

It's a good thing there's so much candy out for Valentine's Day. Otherwise it would be a completely depressing holiday. Instead - it rocks!

I've discovered that anything in a pink or red wrapper can be considered a Valentine's Day treat. Hey - it's all about merchandising. I say, "Wwork it, retailers!"

Some of these treats are designed for Valentine's Day, some just happen to be raspberry. Raspberry comes in a pink or red wrapper. Raspberry = Valentine's Day. (See my brilliant application of logic?)

Lindt is one of my favorite chocolate companies. I think they blow Godiva away. So I was pretty excited when I saw these:






I can't believe I'm going to say this. While this is a good truffle, I love Lindt's creamy dark chocolate, it is not outstanding. I was hoping for a stronger raspberry flavor. I am sad.

I reviewed these last year and they remain one of my favs when it comes to the chocolate, raspberry combo. There are hearts on the wrapper, so these definitely count as a Valentine's Day candy. And this is the only time of year you can get them.



I'm not going to apologize for liking Hershey's Kisses (or Hugs - whatever). I guess it's all a display of affection, so who cares? Anyway, these have just the right amount of raspberry. They are festive. They are good. And they are cheap. Long live the Hershey's Kiss!!! (or Hug)

Is it even fair to review Palmer and Lindt in the same post? It's like a Yugo and a Porshe. It's like a common streetwalker and Paris Hilton - um, wait....maybe those aren't so different....... Aw - what the hell.

Raspberry? What raspberry? All I can taste is that sweet, sugar laden fake Palmer chocolate. Hey, don't get me wrong, there's something about all that sugar and fat that I like. But raspberry? Just tastes like plain Palmer to me. BORING!

Festive foil wrappers, but overall these are lame. Sorry, Palmer. It was bound to happen.


Chocolove is a favorite of mine and their Raspberries in Dark Chocolate bar is no exception:

This bar has delicious dark chocolate and freeze dried raspberries - LOVE it! It's also a mini bar - about a third the size of a full size chocolate bar. I really prefer these, those full size bars are just too much. Especially when so many times you buy one, and it's not so good. It's such a sin to throw chocolate away. When that happens, I have to light a fondue pot in the Church of Chocolate to be forgiven for my sins. I'm going to have to light one after I pitch these next few bars.

This is one of those kumbayah fair trade chocolate bars:

It's made from cacao beans grown by a cooperative of small farmers in Ghana. Yeah, yeah, whatever. I'm all for saving the world, but in my heart I am a capitalist. I think you should buy chocolate because it tastes really good. All this other stuff - whatever.

This is a 70% dark chocolate bar really loaded with "freeze dried raspberry granules:"

It pretty much tastes like dirt. I don't know what it is - maybe the raspberries need a little less cocoa content to offset them. I just know when I compare this with the Chocolove bar - the Chocolove bar destroys this one. Taste beats political correctness.


From Ethel's Chocolate (part of Mars, don't be fooled):

I was expecting pink raspberry creme, but instead got this:

Can that be considered creme? It looks like goo or gel or caramel or shampoo, but not like creme. Not so good. Barely a hint of raspberry and the chocolate only average. Boo! Mars - get back to making M & M's. Don't get distracted.



This long skinny bar is by Harry London and comes in both raspberry and apple:

Raspberry is the dark chocolate one; apple the milk:

In a word - eww. Raspberry? I couldn't taste any raspberry. The chocolate? OK - ZZZZZ. Apple was creepier - it was like green apple Jolly Rancher meets milk chocolate. I just don't think apple and chocolate is a good combo. It works with a real apple, especially fs a lot of caramel is involved. But these other attempts have a fake taste. Don't like 'em.

Lessons?

Everybody has an off day. Even Lindt can make a sub par truffle. It doesn't mean I don't love Lindt. Overall, they are fabulous. You too will be judged by the majority of your actions, not the one time you lost your temper. Cut yourself some slack.

Price doesn't always mean quality. I like the el cheapo Hershey's Hugs better than the expensive fair trade chocolate. Paris Hilton has a lot of money, but she sure doesn't have much class. Sometimes we get confused.

Sometimes the smallest acts of kindness mean the most. While Facebook often gets on my nerves (mostly because I can waste hours on there), so may times people will post such nice things. Lisa Fields, a fellow speaker, posted the nicest thank you to me when I took a whopping two seconds to reply to a question she asked me. (Thanks, Lisa - you are WAY too kind!) Other people have taken time to compliment a picture or a blog post. It's such a simple thing, but it means a lot. It's like an electronic Hershey's Hug. Cheap, festive, and oh, so sweet!

Spread the love! And the chocolate.

Off to light the fondue pot.

I Love Little Debbie

Little Debbie is full of surprises. Besides being the cutest little kid EVAH, she is rocking the house at Valentine's Day. I like the fact that the boxes boldly ask you to be her Valentine. And since it looks like I won't have another Valentine, I am taking her up on the offer. Hey - at least she shows up with cake!!



First up are the iced brownies:

Love the heart shape and really love the heart shaped sprinkles! (Not be be confused with nonpareils). As you know I don't think LD's brownies are the best in the world, but these are so festive and at $1.79 for a box of five, you can't beat them. After being snowbound with them all weekend, I have come to love them.

Each of these boxes has cheesy Valentine's Day cards you can cut out and give to your beloved. My favorite has a pic of two heads of lettuce and says "Valentine, lettuce us be together."

Now these just look gorgeous. They come two hearts to a pack:

Can you see the beads of moisture? I like the chocolate drizzle - makes them look elegant. Seriously - elegant Little Debbies! Who needs a fancy chef when you can just just whip these babies out?

Now here's the surprising and heartbreaking thing - the chocolate hearts were kind of dry. I know - shocking! After all, you can see the moisture! I don't know what happened, I'm just telling you. They were dry enough that I actually preferred these:

I KNOW - I couldn't believe it myself. I adore chocolate. I consider the Swiss Cake Roll an act of genius. But the pink cakes had a lot more creme (see for yourself) and were much more moist. They were a lot better. Maybe I got a bad batch of the chocolate ones - at the end of the creme line - who knows. But if you have to choose, go with the pink ones.

I've saved the very, very best of all for last:

These are amazing. Two cookie-sized cakes, with a thick layer of cherry creme (not too strong) between them, and the whole thing dipped in chocolate. These are amazingly delicious. You want a Valentine's Day treat - look no further. My heart belongs to Little Debbie.

And if I don't get out and get some exercise, my waistline is going to belong to her too!

The Festive Marshmallow

Ah the marshmallow. Used in so many confections, and so often, such a disappointment.

Kraft just can't stop, offering StawberryMallows for Valentine's Day:

They still have the choking warning on the bag, thank God. I almost killed myself with these.

These are pretty much the standard marshmallow with a vague hint of strawberry. ZZZZZZ

They might be okay in hot chocolate or a S'more for something different.

Of course, in my book, Just Born is the King of Marshmallow. And they've pulled all the stops out for Valentine's Day:

The chocolate mousse bears were new last year. They are really good - for marshmallow that is. Way better (and way cheaper) than those Williams- Sonoma marshmallows. and so cute!!! These are chocolate through and through as you can see in the pic below.

These are different - they are strawberry creme flavored:

And let me tell you, these have some SERIOUS strawberry flavor. they are WAY better than the Kraft marshmallows - they are really soft and, well surprisingly good. And you have to love the cute red hearts.

Both of these are just regular marshmallow flavor:

Like the I heart U - very creative! And look at the close uu - its sugar is glittery!!!

Very festive!!!

Here are the autopsy photos:

You can see the strawberry in the smaller red heart.

And there's the cocoa in the bear. Even if you hate Peeps, they are some of the most festive candies out there. And they are low in fat and calories!


This is a whipped creme cherry heart by Georgia Nut Company:

At least this one looks like a heart.. Georgia Nut is notorius for blobs. The cherry flavor is there but fairly subtle. These are soooo rich because of the creme filling, but because it's creme, it's better than marshmallow. I've said it before - it's like Fluff. For some reason I like these. You'll only want one - too rich, but for only 140 calories it tastes pretty darn good!

I can't explain it - it's good!


These surprised me and I have no explanation for it. I tried them at Christmas - they were red and green - and didn't like them:

These I liked! It makes no sense unless they have somehow changed the ingredients. Maybe the green in the crisped rice freaked me out. Maybe I am insane. I dunno. But these were pretty good. Are they the greatest thing ever? Oh hell, no! But if you want a Valentine's Day rice krispy treat - this is for you!

The marshmallow disappoints me more than it delights me, but as long as there are Peeps in the world, it will always make me smile. And I do believe the world would be a lesser place without the marshmallow. It doesn't have a lot of taste, but often marshmallow is the glue that holds the rest of the confection together.

Hey, everybody can't be chocolate.