The Blurry Line Between Cereal and Candy

This is going to be a relatively short post because I am working on an expiration date expose that will blow the lid off the chocolate world! (Or will at least be mildly interesting to the 25 readers of this blog.)

As I have said before, I love the grocery store. To me, there can be no better place than one containing thousands and thousands of food items. Oh the possibility! All the glorious things I haven't tried! New things arriving everyday! A tribute to human ingenuity and imagination! And the taste bud.


Today I spent some time on the cereal aisle. I love cereal. Although I usually get boring healthy brands. But when I saw these, I decided to take one for the home team, and buy them.






I gotta give General Mills top honors in the marketing department. What kid is not going to scream his head off when he sees this? The box looks like the Reese's wrapper, hell the cereal bowl is a Reese's cup wrapper. And these taste pretty darn Reese'slike. They really are pretty good. If they looked more appealing you could serve them in a bowl at a party! Are they cereal or are they candy? Or little cookies? Who knows?

See - not very delicious looking. Look a lot like dry dog food. But they really taste great! When I was a kid, I would have eaten the entire box the day my Mom brought it home from the grocery store.

I give them zero points for health but 10 points for taste. And 10,000 points for marketing and exploiting children. It all depends in what you're looking for in a "cereal."

There's another entry although not so well marketed. I remember Corn Pops from when I was a kid and they were good! These are NOTHING like the Corn Pops I remember. I think Kellogg's should have just come up with a new cereal.

These too claim to be chocolate and peanut butter. But in truth, they don't hold a candle to the Reese's Puffs. Equally unhealthy and even uglier in appearance, these are a desecration of the Corn Pops name. No points for anything.

The Reese's Puffs even have a list of 18 things to do before you're 18 on the back of the box. (They really should leave these motivational type things to the professionals. Like me.)

Let me share some of the 18 things:

bungee jump

go backstage at a gig (yeah, Miley will love to have you)

play a part in your favorite TV show (there's a realistic goal)

invent a word that makes it into the dictionary (are you kidding me? how about LEARN a word that IS in the dictionary?)

complete a road trip coast to coast (parents, that's a good one for your under 18 children, huh?)

but they did add the last one - reach 18 years of age - yes!! (um, by the very title of the list this makes no sense)

But hey, we all gotta dream, right?

Chocolate, Cookies, and Choice

I love cookies. I really do. But not all cookies are created equal.

Some cookies break your heart.

These Chocolate Toffee Brittles look fabulous on the box:

But are not so good in real life. They actually might have been better without the chocolate. I think toffee shortbread would be delish, but with the chocolate, these didn't work for me. They weren't worth 100 calories each so I pitched them. I've been saving the box for a "somethings are better without chocolate" post. I do think that chocolate does not have to be added to everything. We'd get pretty sick of chocolate if it was all there was.

Speaking of something that doesn't seem to be made better by adding chocolate, Vosges has a new mushroom and chocolate bar. I kid you not - Organic Enchanted Mushroom Candy Bar - Organic dark chocolate + reishi mushrooms + organic walnuts. Maybe things have gone too far. Do mushrooms need chocolate? Or more importantly, does chocolate need mushrooms? When will chocolate say, "Enough! These horrible experiments must end! I am not an animal!"

Speaking of horrible, look at these:

Hello Panda! How about Hell No Panda. These look like slightly charred Oyster crackers with cross-eyed pandas printed on them playing various sports. Why go to all this trouble? I counted 10 different designs in a box of 16. There is a panda playing golf, tennis, ping pong, soccer, baseball, doing gymnastics, kayaking, sailing, skiing and lifting weights. Is the panda really the animal for all this activity? Why not pick a sloth? Or maybe go with Hello Jaguar - an animal that might actually do something.

I'm not sure about the shape - some are shaped kind of like a panda head, some are round, all are half full of choco cream. I think the only reason they have the cream is so kids won't choke on the dry crumbs from the rest of the cookie. Kids will like these because kids like everything. I suggest you have 10,000 or so better options.

Well, we've heard from Japan. Let's go to England. Back in June 2008 the British voted on their favorite cookie (known as biscuits to the Brits) of all time. Now I don't know how the poll was conducted, but knowing the English, it was right on the money. They chose McVitie's Chocolate Digestive:

This is a cookie where chocolate DEFINITELY made a difference. The chocolate was added in 1925 and that's when sales skyrocketed. Of course, when I read the results of the poll, I had to get some. And, well, they are not so good. They are made from wheat flour (thus the digestive part, I guess) but they only have one gram of fiber each, so that is BS. Of course they taste like cardboard so maybe it's the placebo effect. English food is pretty bland and generally awful, so this falls right in line. Thank God for the Revolutionary War.

The chocolate chip cookie (biscuit) didn't even make the top three. No wonder the English look so dour.

So much for Japan and England, let's go down South! Where an RC Cola and a Moon Pie are tradition! I saw these in the grocery store and had to grab them. They are PEANUT BUTTER Moon Pies!!!

Well, actually, they are are only made by the Moon Pie people. They are not technically Moon Pies. Where a regular Moon Pie has marshmallow, this one has peanut butter. Where they have graham cracker, these have chocolate cookie. And the whole thing is coated in chocolate. And I gotta tell you, they are pretty damn good. Now don't get me wrong, these aren't like a homemade cookie, I'm not suggesting that. But for a mass produced cookie, they are good! And they kick the Digestives' butt! Once again, America wins the war!! Whoo hoo!

www.moonpie.com/hist_text.asp Made ONLY in Chattanooga, TN! Hmmm, I wonder if I can get a tour of the plant....

Now this isn't technically a cookie. It's a muffin top:

But I'm including it here to show you the choices you have. These are amazing - they taste like a brownie and they have chocolate chips. Vitalicious also makes some with peanut butter chips. They also have brownies with walnuts. These taste great! And here's the best part - they only have 100 calories!! They are loaded with vitamins and have 5 grams of fiber! (Digestives, you suck.)

And let's just see everybody together and naked:

See how big the Vitalicious muffin top is? 100 calories!!! 170 for the Peanut Butter Moon Pie cookie next to it, 168 for both Digestives (but why bother?), and about 20 calories for each HellNo Panda. This is how I don't get fat. When I really want a nice big chocolate fix - I eat these! I pop the frozen brownies into the microwave and top them with fat-free vanilla caramel Jell-O Pudding. For 170 calories I have an outrageous dessert.

Here's the website http://www.vitalicious.com/ and some grocery stores carry them too. I think chocolate, corn muffin and banana nut bread are the only ones worth getting. Sign up for their e-mail and they send out coupons from time to time.

Well, there you have it. I don't care what anyone says, America Rocks! We have everything from Peanut Butter Moon Pies to Vitalicious Muffin Tops AND we have the freedom to chose. Thank God for the Founding Fathers or we'd be stuck with those horrible Digestives. God save the Cookie!

Tutti Frutti, oh Rudy

Little Richard was born in the town I grew up in - Macon, Georgia.

Today we are going to talk about chocolate with fruit flavors.

That means we have a theme song - Tutti Frutti, oh Rudy! a wop bop-a-loo-bop a wop bam boom!


Let's start with orange:

We have already reviewed Terry's Orange (the best thing about it was its cool shape and that I had to beat it with a stapler to get it to break apart into slices). As a rule, I'm not thrilled about the chocolate/orange combo. I dunno - just seems like there are sooo many better choices (I mean why pick orange when you can have caramel, peanut butter, or nuts?)

The fluorescent nightmare on the right is a teuscher Mandarin Chocolate bar http://www.teuscherfifthavenue.com/index.php I got this in their Fifth Avenue store which is decorated like a bad cross between a funeral parlor and Hello Kitty. It's actually disturbing - like five year old beauty queens. The home page of the website gives for a feel for it. This is a Swiss chocolatier, but this bar is awful. I have several of their bars, so I'm hoping the others are better. Avoid this orange wrapper like you avoid orange traffic cones.

The Lindt bar really surprised me - it actually has pieces of orange and almond slivers. And I found the chocolate richer, smoother and creamier by far than the teuscher bar. This is the best orange/chocolate combo I've tried yet. If you like orange and chocolate - this is IT! Good Golly Miss Molly!

Chuao Chocolatier makes these ChocoPods:

Great packaging! Love the shiny, metallic pink wrapper and the cacao pod shape! These were Passion - Passion Fruit Caramel. Okay - I don't know if I got a bad batch, but these tasted terrible. Maybe the passion fruit is too weird, I don't know. I just thought they tasted, well, wrong. If I see a different flavor, I'll try these again, but they were really bad. Oh Rudy!

Another Lindt bar:

This one is a 70% dark bar (delish, smooth dark chocolate) with cherry filling and supposedly with "the lingering heat of chili." My verdict? zzzzzz Boring. Too subtle on the cherry and chili. If there's a whole lotta shakin' goin' on, it ain't going on here. Pass.

Now these kind of scare me, but I'm going in:

Let's start with Crave by NewTree http://www.newtree.com/chocolates.php The chocolate was good, but I'm not a big apricot fan and the apricot flavor is pretty strong. I did like the fact that in this box are three individually wrapped bars - very nice. Here's what I don't like - they have 11 flavors - crave is one - others include forgiveness, blush, cocoon, vigor - PLEASE! Forgiveness is not a flavor! Neither is cocoon! Everybody has to have an angle, but damn! There's a whole lotta BS goin' on! (I'll try more of these, though - the chocolate was nice and smooth.)

The other two are by Dolfin (they had a great chocolate bar that was weak on the almonds, reviewed in the Nuts post). In the tan wrapper is Summer Memories, Apple Crumble - it has apple, hazelnuts, and sugarcane. Eh. Didn't do much for me. Sounds more interesting than it is. Caramel and chocolate REAL apples are soooooo much better.

The screamin' green wrapper is Fruity Escapade (okay, that's just insane - it sounds like something the Fruit of the Loom guys would be involved in). The flavors here are apple, peach and apricot. What the hell was I thinking when I bought this?

Actually it's not bad - the chocolate has so much flavor and the fruit is very subtle, so the combo is very good. There are fruit pieces in the chocolate. I like the size of this bar too - it's a 1.058 oz bar (those large Lindt bars are 3.5 oz to give you a comparison).

So far, I really like fresh fruit with chocolate best - the giant apples at Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory - oh, baby!! Those are awesome!! But of these bars, my very favorite was the Lindt Intense Orange. I highly recommend this one. A wop bop-a-loo-bop a wop bam boom!

Music is a great motivator - I think we all should have a theme song. Or at least a cool fruit costume.

I Love My Crazy Friends!

I am really lucky to have some of the friends I do. I'm not sure I deserve them, but I am truly grateful I have them.

Three of these wild ones (all my friends seem to be a little bit crazy - and that's the way I like 'em! If someone isn't a little off center, then they are just too boring.) sent me Christmas presents. There were all out of the blue, completely unexpected, and totally wonderful.

The first one is from my buddy Don Johnson (no, not Miami Vice although Don does ride a mean motorcycle). Don sends me the most hilarious e-mails EVER and is a totally cool guy. Way cooler than the Miami Vice Don Johnson. He sent me this:





Now this is not a giant chocolate bar (although it is designed to look like one). It's a great book!






Loaded with gorgeous pictures like this and information on tasting chocolate, chocolate holidays, how chocolate is made, and 40 recipes - it's fantastic. I wish I just had someone to make all these for me. Looking at the pictures alone makes my mouth water. Don - you're the best!!!

Another friend, Diane Fain Worthen, sent me these:


Diane MADE the cool red scarf surrounding the chocolates. It's a really unusual scarf - the picture doesn't do it justice. How thoughtful is she - she was thinking about me keeping my crazy, messed up neck warm in the winter, and she knows red is THE FireStar color. It just doesn't get any more thoughtful than that! Diane is one of those super women who can tame children, horses and men with one hand and make great things like this with the other!


The chocolates are from Van's Chocolates in Hendersonville, North Carolina. And Diane picked a great assortment and took the time to enclose a guide for me!! No guessing necessary! YAY!

The top row has a caramel (which was good and chewy, I like 'em that way!), a pecan turtle (these were the freshest pecans ever - delish!), a chocolate cream and a vanilla cream (the chocolate cream was wonderful, but VERY rich and the vanilla was a little too sweet for me). The next row had an almond toffee (very good), a peanut butter meltaway, a raspberry meltaway, a peanut cluster (I'm telling you these nuts were so fresh - it was like they were just grown!) and a coconut haystack. Van's were very good - MUCH better than Russell Stover's assortment and the pieces featuring nuts were excellent. I will make sure I stop in next time I'm out in the western part of the state. Thanks, Diane!!! And thanks for the scarf - it's always really nice to get a gift someone went to the trouble to make.


And that brings us to the wild and crazy, Jay Rowe. Jay is hard to describe - here's a guy who went to clown college (so you know he's hilarious) but also teaches etiquette classes. To give you an idea of the many faces of Jay, he sent me this lovely ornament:

Look at her! Isn't she sweet? She's Hallmark's Angel of Chocolate! Russell Stover makes a chocolate Pope, Hallmark makes a chocolate angel. God is smiling. Although I notice the Angel of Chocolate is EATING the chocolate. Shouldn't she be extending it to us, like mercy? Or maybe she is saving us from ourselves. Either way - what a great gift!!

But Jay also sent me this button:

And if you knew him, you would think, "That is SO Jay Rowe!" He is too funny and a terrific friend. The Chocolate Angel and the Chocolate Slut - you saw it here first, Ladies and Gentlemen! Under the big top! Thanks to our Ringmaster - JAY!!!

So - take a few minutes to be grateful for all YOUR crazy friends and all the laughter and joy they bring into your life. And never doubt that taking the time to send someone something means the world to them. I got so much joy out of these gifts! And I knew that all the senders were thinking of me. These gifts all came from the heart and I cherish them as well as the givers.

Don, Diane and Jay - thank you so much!!!! (And no, readers, I am NOT giving up my Chocolate Slut pin! So don't even ask.)

Sometimes You Feel Like a Nut

I love nuts. Many have said I am nuts, but that's another entry.

Let's talk chocolate bars and nuts.

Here we have Valor's Dark Chocolate with Almonds and Chocolove's Cherries & Almonds in Dark Chocolate. Valor has whole almonds which I love. But it was like they were on the bottom and there was a thick layer of chocolate on top. I thought the chocolate was average. Almonds A+, chocolate C.

Chocolove has the cherries which really make it. Otherwise it's only okay. Wish it had the almonds of the Valor. Almonds C, Chocolate B. Cherries A! Chocolove also has a love poem inside the wrapper which I adore. I am a sucker for romance.

Speaking of romance, Baci (kisses in Italian) by Perugina is one of my favorites. Packed with chopped hazelnuts and topped with a whole hazelnut, these are delicious. They also have a romantic quote wrapped in each one. These deserve an overall A++.

The little bar in the back wrapper is Carezza by Costa, a Peruvian chocolate company. It apparently contains secret almonds which I could neither see nor taste. Combine that with yucky chocolate, this was a D. I didn't spit it out or feed it to a dog, but it was not goo

Vosges (an $8 candy bar) Gianduja Bar is simply mind blowing. I took a bite and exclaimed, "Holy God!" The milk chocolate is so soft and creamy it melts in your hand. And this is what Gianduja is - "hazelnuts and almonds are caramelized with sugar, then the mixture is ground into a fine paste, and finally it is gently mixed with milk chocolate." All I can say is it is well worth the eight bucks. A++

This bar is just a lie. Look at that picture! Look at all those almonds! It's false advertising - there are MAYBE half that many almonds, and the chocolate is only average. D for lying. Call Oliver Kita - I think my human rights have been violated.

The Perugina (makers of the delicious Baci) dark chocolate with almonds is also only okay. Not enough almonds, chocolate a B. Stick with the kisses.

Now the Dolfin bar has great dark chocolate with lots of richness and depth but just not enough almonds. It also comes in a really cool resealable wrapper (nice!). Chocolate A+, Almonds C

And then there are two organic entries. Love the sea salt in the Lake Champlain bar, but adore all the almonds in the Green & Black's bar. Both have great chocolate (although not quite as smooth as Vosges and not as deep and rich as the Dolfin bar.) Solid As.

The best dark chocolate and almond combo I have had to date is Trader Joe's dark chocolate almond bark. There are so many almonds - the chocolate is just there to hold them together! That's the way I like it! If you're going to go nuts, you should go all the way. (But don't forget the romance!)

Run, Forrest, Run!

Sorry for the hiatus! I've been insanely busy with speaking engagements, which in this economy is a mighty fine thing!

Valentine's Day candy is out already. I'm still trying to finish all my Christmas candy! I may have to miss a season. (Yeah, right!)

I'm going back to the Chocolate Show in this post. Please come with.

These gorgeous chocolates are from Oliver Kita: http://www.oliverkita.com/index.html



Aren't they gorgeous? They should be. You're looking at a $40 box of chocolates. But before we talk about the chocolates, I feel compelled to mention the pretentious stuff that comes with these gorgeous babies. There's the corporate tag line: Mind. Body. Chocolate Every Day TM Yes, this is trademarked. Puleeze.

The chocolate is described as joyful, powerful and conscious. Under powerful the little brochure that came in the box says, "Buying this chocolate supports human rights. The power of your giving or receiving it is aligned with universal values of the global community." Huh? Considering the current state of the world, violence seems to be one of the few universal values of the global community. What do you think $40 worth of chocolate will do on the Gaza Strip? You make chocolate, Mr Kita, you are not the Dalai Lama. Stay inside the box.

Sorry - you know how I am. I have to call BS when these fancy high-end chocolatiers start saying that buying their chocolate is going to help fulfill mysterious global values. (Maybe the writers of the redundant Chex Mix copy weren't so bad after all.) Just make amazing chocolate. You don't also have to save the world.

More important to me as a consumer is what I'm eating. I do not subscribe to the Forrest Gump "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get" theory. I want the Whitman's Sampler road map. I want to know where the orange cream is so I can avoid that thing like the plague.

Oliver Kita did have some pictures and descriptions, but they were not all inclusive. Some of the chocolates in the box were not listed. Some chocolates not in the box were. It was partially helpful. For example:

Green stripe is Pistache - pistachio almond marzipan - VERY good!

The red one below it is Scarlet Caramel which is strawberry and caramel and blew me away!! It tasted like fresh strawberries and caramel, not that yucky strawberry cream stuff. This was simply amazing.

The purple/yellow one is Lavendar Citronade and was too lemony for me.

The other one looks kind of like the picture for Coconut Voile, but I couldn't taste any coconut, so I'm not sure.

Several of the other ones I have no idea about. They were good, but I was clueless as to exactly what they were. I would rather have a better guide to the CHOCOLATE than a cheesy we-are- the-world story.

A couple of these were fantastic - Galaxy Way - the one covered with nuts - smooth, chewy, gooey caramel with a twist is how Kita describes it. Delish! There's also a salted caramel - this one with Pink Hawaiian sea salt. Whoa! This is a mind blower. Extraordinary.

Also noteworthy is the Espresso Double Shot which has crushed cacao nibs, giving it a great texture. And I didn't think it was too bitter - it was excellent.

Questionable was White Peaches & Cream. Personally I want no peach and chocolate combo.

Only two were outright awful - Shiki Matcha Crunch - a green tea infused ganache with croquant crunch (in normal words - a weird green tea thing covered with weird white balls - yucko). You can see it in the lower right hand corner. Looks like an alien pod. Tastes like one too.

And Palet d'Opium - described as seductive blood orange, lapsang, hypnotic spice - immediately reminded me of the bacon bar - eew! Turns out lapsang is a black tea with a smokey flavor. I want no smokey tea in my chocolate. And I don't know what hypnotic spice is. Maybe it's a human rights thing.

I would like to see more information about the chocolate and the different ingredients and less on the alignment of universal values. If I'm going to be eating Pink Hawaiian Sea Salt, I want to know about it!

Overall I found the Oliver Kita Chocolate to be pretty amazing. Ingenious flavor combinations, most of which tasted fantastic. Some simple, yet unique (Scarlet Caramel) and SO well done. And a tip to all these chocolatiers - educate us and you'll build and expand your market. Treat us like Forrest Gump, and well, we'll run.

Candy Trends for 2009

There was an interesting article in the New York Times on December 31st about the Flavor of the Year (not sure who gets to decide this, but hey, I'm going with it), Salt Caramel.

Now if you haven't tried this - get on the bandwagon! The combination ROCKS!! Of course, I love caramel, so this is right up my alley. And I did a review of those amazing Sea Salt Caramels from Chocolate Modern http://motivationbychocolate.blogspot.com/search/label/Chocolat%20Moderne

What I found interesting about the article was it discussed how American Food trends evolve. Apparently there are five stages (and it takes about ten years for a food item to move through all five):

1.) Chef's indulgence (with the caramels, the trend started with chefs in France, was adopted by chocolatiers, then chefs in the US)

2.) High-end food magazines and specialty food shows

3.) On menus at the more inventive chain restaurants or sold at retailers like Williams-Sonoma

4.) Appearance in a main stream woman's magazine, a larger restaurant chain, or even in supermarkets as a premium item (Starbucks just began selling salted caramel boxed hot chocolate and back in April Haagen-Dazs introduced a reserve brand of salted caramel ice cream (yum! I bet it's awesome!)

5.) Becomes a supermarket staple Wal-Mart has rolled out salted caramel in a box of salted truffles.

Well, I'm not so sure about this - Oprah (in her mainstream woman's magazine was talking about Sea Salt caramels many years ago - she found a brand made in France. They were delicious! I know, because when Oprah talks about food, I listen.)

The article also gives credit to Obama because apparently he likes Fran's Salted Caramels. (Good grief, does Obama get credit for everything?) I think salted caramels were popular way before Obama started buying them, but hey, it is the New York Times article. (Obama also likes Nicorette Gum - I wonder if they too have had a spike in sales?) I did read an article recently that featured Mariska Hargitay and she loves Fran's salted caramels as well. Maybe we should just site the overall celebrity factor - maybe stage 3.5. Celebrities embrace trend.

But also, this is just a damn good combination. You don't have to have a weird sophisticated palate; I bet almost everybody likes this. It really is already around - we love Pay Days and Turtles and caramel corn and lots of things that combine salt and sweet.

The next food she predicts will be a big hit is Quinoa - a whole grain. I actually know about Quinoa, and I say maybe because it is a pain to prepare. I don't think it has the same mainstream allure as salted caramel. But if an incredible product is made with it, it might make it. But I think it will because people want the fiber and health benefits rather than the flavor of Quinoa. To me this is like saying flour will be the next big thing.

But it is interesting how ideas, products, and information flow though a culture. In America it starts with experts, them goes through the market place (with the help of the media and celebrities) and if it's good enough, we all buy it. (I have to say, though, I bet the sea salt truffles at Wal-Mart don't hold a candle to those French caramels.) Lots of products don't go all the way because only a few of us like them and that's okay.

I wonder what the big food will be in 2009? I think candy is getting more crazy and decadent (beer and chocolate, vegetables and chocolate, weirder combinations will keep coming) AND at the same time, there is a push for nostalgia and penny pinching. The spectrum is only getting longer. I think 2009 will be a very good year for candy. (And apparently for Nicorette.)